LITMIR.BIZ

       Chapter Two

      Numb, I pointed my elderly Golf in the right direction and drove out of the city of London. I’d been to Thornton Hall enough times to know the way. Although, I have to say I was surprised that Jasper Roth, America’s wealthiest tycoon, was invited to his wife’s ancestral home this particular Christmas. It had been all over the Daily Mail and other rags that he and Lady Penelope were suffering trouble in paradise. Based on what I think nearly happened between him and me in the drawing room at the Hall last time I catered for the family, I figured she’d finally caught him cheating. But then that whole incident between him and me was kind of a gray area. And we were drinking that mellow port, the one that slid like silk down the throat and left you thirsty for more. And he was so sincere when he confessed that despite his success, what he really wanted was to feel a part of someone’s life.

      Was he really about to kiss me, or was it just a weird moment of connection between us? Maybe I imagined the whole thing. That’s probably the real truth. Face it, I couldn’t be trusted to separate the good guys from the bad guys, could I? I’d been duped by both Stephen and Ben. Whatever. Fucking men. No wonder Mother had opted out.

      Oh, God…Mother. I nearly swerved off the road, thinking of how my mom was going to react to my news of my break-up with Ben. I think she saw Ben as a guide toward sense and stability. It was no secret that she held out hope for my giving up “being a cook”, to go back and complete my studies, the plan Ben wholeheartedly supported.

      It was hard to believe that, as of last night, I’d been ready to do exactly that. To start a life that Mother was excited about. Thinking about disappointing her made my head split. Or maybe that was the hangover. I concentrated harder on the road, lightheaded with hunger and the starkness of my new reality. If I had moved to New York and gone back to school, Ben in tow, Mother would have had to admit I wasn’t flighty. That I did have direction. Of course, flighty to her was switching from math camp to science camp my last year of high school. But marrying Ben would have given me gravitas. Or I hoped she’d see it that way. On the one hand, a successful lawyer, he’s a highly sensible choice, I thought, looking for a turn-off. On the other, although she approved of his profession, he is a man. And who knows if she could approve of any member of that gender.

      Men didn’t exactly play a starring role in my childhood. My grandmother, a surgeon and lab scientist in Chicago, divorced my grandfather when my mother was little. When she visited us, she flew solo. And my father, by the way, is a sample cup. Mom made sure I knew all about the science of conception, and what a sperm donor was, from the time I could toddle.

      “Juliet,” she told me time and again, “I wanted a child, not two children. Men, my dear, are children. Besides that, they cloud the brain. Take it from me, solidly establish who you are before you try blending with someone else. That way, you don’t get lost.”

      Her personal philosophies were sensible, well thought-out, and written in stone. She expected me to benefit from her experience and buy in hook, line and sinker. Growing up with my mother, good enough had never been good enough. She’s not a barrel of laughs, Mother, but she gets the job done and she taught me to do the same. I got A’s in school, and sacrificed dating and boys to do it. That suited her fine. I followed her directions until graduation, all the while gazing wistfully at the artsy crowd who smoked clove cigarettes, and even at the stoner crowd who smoked pot. At least they looked relaxed. When it came time for college, I got accepted to Duke, Vanderbilt, Penn and Cornell. Mother was horrified to the point of dumbstruck when I chose Bard, a liberal arts college near Woodstock, New York. She knew I wanted to be close to my aunt, who I may as well tell you is Suze Wyatt, the life coach you’ve seen on The Eva! Show.

      Everyone who ever lived has dreamt of being interviewed by Eva, the most famous and altruistic self-made woman on the planet. The woman who singlehandedly made book clubs cool, and started schools for girls in every remote corner of Africa. The woman who revolutionized daytime television. Everyone except for Mother. She hated Eva.

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