LITMIR.BIZ

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and Julie were her best friends. They were her family. It was wrong to have lied to them. She had never kept anything from them.

      Until now. Until this.

      It was for their own good, she told herself. She was protecting them. The way a parent did a child.

      But protecting them from what? she wondered. From who?

      Raven thought of the man again. He knew many secrets, she was certain of it. Secrets that gave him power—over other people, over life and death. Tonight had been proof of that.

       She wanted to learn his secrets.

      From outside she heard the sound of a car door slamming. Her father. She straightened and turned toward the kitchen door, pasting on an expectant and welcoming smile.

      The door opened. Her father stepped through.

      “Hi, Daddy. How was your date?”

      “Raven, honey.” He beamed at her. “You waited up.”

      “Of course I did.” She smiled and stood. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you a cup of sleepy-time tea.”

      “Thanks, honey. That sounds good.”

      He took a seat and she busied herself putting on the kettle and getting out the mugs and tea. “So,” she asked, her back to him, “how was it? Do you like her?”

      “It was good. She’s a nice woman. Did you like her?”

      Raven didn’t turn. She feared he would read in her eyes what she really thought—that he was a son of a bitch and she wished he was dead. “Yes, Daddy,” she said. “She did seem very nice.”

      For a moment he was silent. She sensed his gaze on her back, sensed him assessing her every movement, her every word and its inflection. She had played this game with him so long it had become second nature, yet still she lived in fear that he might someday see through her.

      And then she might end up as her mother had, trying to run away in the dead of night.

      He cleared his throat. “I know what you’re thinking, Raven,” he said softly. “You can’t hide your thoughts from me.”

      Her fingers froze on the tea bags, and she forced a stiff laugh. “I don’t know what you mean.”

      “Yes, you do. Look at me, please.”

      Schooling her features to what she hoped portrayed a look of innocence, she did as he asked, turning slowly to face him.

      “I know what you’re worried about,” he said. “You’re worried I’ll get involved with Marion and things will change.”

      “No, I’m not.” She shook her head. “Really, Dad.”

      He frowned. “You know I like you to call me Daddy.”

      “I’m sorry.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “Thank you for reminding me.”

      He stood and crossed to her. He caught her hands, and gooseflesh raced up her arms. She walked a very fine line with him, she knew. If he ever discovered her disloyalty, if he ever even suspected it, he would take care of her. The way he had taken care of her mother.

      She swallowed her fear. That wasn’t going to happen. She wouldn’t allow it to happen.

      She was smarter than he was.

      He squeezed her fingers and looked her straight in the eyes, demanding that she do the same. “You’re worried it will be the way it was with your mother. That’s it, isn’t it?”

      “I guess,” she lied. “Maybe I’m a little worried about that.”

      He smiled tenderly, and she wanted to retch. “It won’t be that way, sweetheart. I promise you. Marion’s not the way your mother was. She’s loyal. And honest.” His eyes filled with tears. “I loved your mother more than anything, Raven. It broke my heart when she left us. You know that, don’t you?”

      “Yes, Daddy,” she whispered, understanding that he had loved her mother that much. Love, it seemed, took many forms. “I know that.”

      He tightened his hands over hers and she had to fight not to flinch from the pressure. “Family is everything,” he said fiercely. “Loyalty counts above all.” He moved his gaze over her face. “No one will come between us. I won’t allow it. Do you understand?”

      “Of course.” She forced an adoring smile. “Family is everything.”

      He smiled and brought his hands to her hair, hanging loosely down the sides of her face. He tucked it behind her ears. “Why do you wear your hair this way? You know I like it pulled back.”

      “I’m sorry, Daddy. I guess I forgot. Tomorrow, I’ll wear those new barrettes you bought me.”

      “That’s my girl.” He bent and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then dropped his hands. “Run along to bed. It’s late.”

      Just then the kettle screamed. Raven jumped, nearly leaping out of her skin. “I’ll get it,” she said, swinging toward the stove. She reached for the kettle. “You just sit—”

      He caught her hand. “You’re nervous as a cat tonight.”

      “Just tired.”

      “I’ll take care of the tea. You go on to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

      “All right.” She stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Good night, Daddy.”

      As she turned and walked away, Raven smiled to herself. One morning, he wouldn’t see her. One morning, when the time was right, he would never be allowed to see her again.

       9

      Julie awakened with a start, a silent scream on her lips. Terrified, she moved her gaze over her dark bedroom, looking for the beast in every shadow, the monster who had come to take what was left of her soul.

      After a moment, the outlines of her furniture began to take shape; the silhouette of the tree in her window, the pile of discarded clothes in the corner. Her breathing slowed, her heart with it.

       Only a bad dream. Nothing to be really frightened of.

      But she was frightened. Julie pressed her lips together, realizing they were trembling. Realizing, too, how close to tears she was. The nightmare had been so real and vivid. So awful.

      Her reaction had been worse.

      She had been turned on. Sexually aroused, even in her sleep.

      Julie rolled onto her side, curling into a ball of misery and self-disgust. The dream had been a reenactment of the scene she, Andie and Raven had witnessed that night. Only she had been the woman, blindfolded and performing for the man. She had been the one who stood before him naked and completely vulnerable, the one who had knelt before him and taken his penis into her mouth.

      She should have been ashamed, terrified or repulsed. She should have been desperate to escape.

      She had loved it, instead. She had reveled in it.

       What was wrong with her?

      Just remembering, her body began to throb again. Julie squeezed her thighs together, wanting to stop the sensations but knowing she couldn’t. Knowing that once again, she had lost control and her body wasn’t her own.

      Julie turned her face to the pillow and moaned, the tingling sensation building between her legs. She rocked slightly, and the folds of flesh at the apex of her thighs rubbed together, a trick she had learned years ago. She had used it in church, at the dinner table, during Scriptures.

      Even as she told herself to stop, she rocked harder, squeezed tighter. The tingling ignited, becoming fire. Her mind emptied of everything but the heat, the need for that

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