LITMIR.BIZ

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biological father, but maybe by then Scott would have adopted him and—

      She abruptly yanked the plug in the bottom of the sink, watching as the grayish water and the residue of bubbles washed away. She couldn’t think about the future. It was one of her non-negotiable rules.

      Unless things changed drastically, there would be no future for her. Only the day-to-day life she had now. Only the moment.

      Hearing her son squeal, followed by silence from the man who usually made as much or more noise than the little boy when the two were playing together, Tricia glanced over her shoulder.

      “Scott?” She dried her hands, moved slowly behind the man she’d duped—yes, duped—into taking her in. She’d played the part of a destitute homeless woman, and then grown to love Scott more than she’d ever believed possible. Face buried in Taylor’s neck, he was holding on to the boy.

      Almost as she had the day before…

      “Is something wrong?” she asked, her throat tightening with the terror that was never far from the surface. Had he had enough of them? Was this going to be goodbye?

      Could she handle another loss right now?

      He didn’t look up right away, and Tricia focused on breathing. Life had come down to this a few times in the past couple of years—reduced to its most basic level. Getting each breath to follow the one before. Clearing her mind of all thought, all worry, her heart of all fear, so that she could breathe.

      “You want us to leave?” she made herself ask when she could. Probably only seconds had passed. They seemed like minutes. Her arrangement with Scott wasn’t permanent. She’d known that. Insisted on it.

      The back pockets of her worn, department-store jeans were a good place for hands that were noticeably trembling.

      “Can we put him in his playpen with Blue?” Scott asked.

      Taylor’s addiction to Blue’s Clues could easily buy half an hour of uninterrupted time.

      “I need to talk to you.”

      It was bad, then.

      He wouldn’t look her in the eye. Hadn’t answered her question about leaving. And his thick brown hair was messier than usual—as though he’d been running his hand through it all morning.

      Scott had a habit of doing that when he was working through things that upset him.

      She wanted to speak. To tell him that amusing Taylor with Blue while they talked was fine with her. That she was happy to hear whatever was on his mind.

      She just didn’t have it in her. She’d hardly slept. Was having trouble staying focused. Jumping at every innocuous click, bump or whoosh of air. She’d even dropped Taylor’s spoon earlier when the refrigerator had clicked on behind her.

      With a jerky nod, she followed him into the living room, where one entire corner was taken up with Taylor’s playpen, toys and sundry other toddler possessions. She would’ve moved the changing table out of the crowded room now that he was older and it was easier to have him climb onto the couch rather than lifting his almost twenty pounds up to the table for a diaper change, but they didn’t have anyplace to put it. Scott’s house, as was the case with most of the homes in the older San Diego South Park neighborhood, didn’t have a garage.

      And the crib and dresser in Taylor’s small room left no space for anything else. Which made the fact that they had little else less noticeable.

      “What’s up?” They were in Scott’s room—their room for now—with the door open so she could hear Taylor.

      He paced at the end of the king-size bed, staring down at the hardwood floor. Sitting in the old wooden rocker that had become a haven to her, Tricia hugged a throw pillow to her belly and waited.

      Scott stopped. Glanced over at her. He sat on the end of the bed she’d made only an hour before. With hands clasped between his knees, he looked over at her.

      “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

      Her breath whooshed out, but her lungs didn’t immediately expand to allow any entry of air.

      He opened his mouth to speak, then shook his head.

      “What?” Her voice was low, partly because she was having trouble saying anything at all. Partly because of Taylor in the next room. But also because, as she saw him sitting there, she watched—felt—the struggle inside him.

      She knew. Oh, not his secret, obviously. But she knew all about the dark pain associated with keeping secrets.

      “I shouldn’t have lied, and I’m sorry.” The conversation was getting more and more ominous. Tricia wanted to scream at him for lying to her. She’d been lied to enough. Couldn’t take any more.

      But how could she be upset with him for something she was doing herself? No one was guiltier of hiding things than Tricia Campbell—name chosen from the Campbell’s soup can she’d seen on his counter when, the morning after the first time they’d had sex, he’d asked her full name.

      “Why…” she coughed. “Why don’t you tell me what this is about?” If she had to find another place to live, she’d need as much of the day as she could get. Taylor had to be in bed by seven or he’d be too tired to sleep.

      Still hugging the pillow, Tricia tried her hardest to ignore the far-too-familiar sense of impending darkness, the dread and panic that she could never seem to escape. She thought of the blue sky outside. Of the beach in Coronado, there for her to walk any time of the day or night. She thought of cuddling up to her small son for a long afternoon nap.

      “I’m—I haven’t always lived…this way.” He gestured to the room.

      “What? I’m keeping the place too clean? I don’t mean to, I just…”

      “No!” He grinned at her and Tricia’s heart lightened. That quickly. It was why she’d been drawn to the man in the first place. There was something special about him and something deep in her recognized it. Even if, consciously, she had no idea what it was.

      “I love everything you’ve done to the place. The curtains and pillows, the rugs. I love having meals I don’t have to fix myself, and having help with the dishes. I love always being able to find what I need because it has a place, so I know where to look for it.”

      Good. Okay, then. She wasn’t just using him. She was giving him a valuable service.

      “Have you ever heard of McCall faucets?”

      The question threw her. “Of course. They’re top of the line. In custom homes all over the country. They do shower fixtures, too.”

      “And toilet hardware,” he added.

      “So?” She frowned, pushed against the floor with one bare foot to set the chair in motion. “You want to replace the kitchen faucet?”

      He shook his head.

      She hadn’t really thought so.

      “The shower?” Please let it just be that.

      “No, Trish. I want to tell you that my family is McCall faucets. I am McCall faucets.”

      She was going to wake up now and find out that this was a twisted dream, another way her psyche had dreamed up to torment her. She was going to wake up and find out that it was really only one in the morning and she had a whole night to get through before she could get out of bed and feel the promise of sunshine on her skin. Seven and a half hours to go before Scott got home from his shift at the station.

      “Say something.” He was still sitting there, dressed in his blue uniform pants and blue T-shirt with the San Diego fire insignia on it, hands clasped. She hadn’t woken up.

      “I’m confused.” It was a relief to tell the complete truth for once.

      “My grandfather is the original designer

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