LITMIR.BIZ

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swung down the Deer Hall, walking swiftly, still humming, but as she passed the library her steps faltered. The door was firmly closed, and it was thick; nonetheless, she heard Diana exclaiming, ‘Oh, for God’s sake!’ and with such impatience Francesca was startled. Again, Diana’s voice rang out, now in a staccato burst of rapid German which Francesca did not understand; however, it was quite apparent her cousin was irritated. She did not wish to hear any more, and so she hurried on in the direction of the gallery, frowning to herself. It was unusual for Diana to sound cross, and especially so with her brother, with whom she was invariably gentle and mild. She wondered what had ruffled Diana, and instantly dropped the thought. It was none of her business, and she preferred not to delve too deeply into certain matters in this household.

      When she entered the sitting room, Francesca went immediately to the cabinet where the records were stored, found a classical piece she liked and put it on the record player. Then she crossed to the high stone hearth and sat down on it, warming her hands in front of the fire.

      A dreamy expression suffused her face, and she leaned back, her thoughts caught up with Victor and the five days stretching ahead of them. Last night, after she had explained the situation to Diana, told her of the need for secrecy in view of Victor’s complicated life, his impending divorce, and his worry about Confidential Magazine, she had confided in her cousin. But the confidences had only been partial ones, for as always Francesca held back her innermost feelings. Being essentially an exceedingly private person, she deemed these to be too intimate to impart to anyone, even someone close to her. This was chiefly the reason she had not said anything about Victor to Katharine, although fear of appearing foolish and juvenile had also induced reticence, along with a reluctance to give Katharine an opportunity to fill her ears with tid-bits about Victor’s many love affairs, as she was prone to do. Francesca was wise enough to understand this knowledge would only underscore her anxiety and undermine her self-confidence.

      After Francesca had finished her carefully-edited recital about her attraction to Victor, Diana had been thoughtful for a while. Eventually she had said, ‘I think you must ignore his attitude towards you, otherwise you’ll be miserable the entire time you’re here, darling. I also think you should be completely natural with him, even let him see you’re attracted to him, like him as much as you do.’ Diana had stopped, her laughter breaking loose, her eyes merry. ‘Don’t look like that, Cheska! You can make him aware of your interest in him without being flagrant, or throwing yourself at him.’

      Diana had leaned forward and squeezed Francesca’s arm. ‘Listen to me, darling. Men can be very peculiar, quite odd. And they’re as afraid of rejection as we are, you know. So sometimes they need a little gentle encouragement to make them feel more at ease. And there’s another thing. If I were you I’d forget my age, forget his age, and also forget who he is. He might be a famous movie star, but he’s a man like any other man. That’s how you should view him. Apart from anything else, you’ll feel more relaxed if you do. And who knows, he might pick up on that, and relax himself.’

      The cousins had continued to talk along these lines for some while longer, and when Francesca had gone to bed she had felt positive and optimistic, and had decided to take Diana’s advice. What do I have to lose? she asked herself now. Nothing, she concluded. I might even have a lot to gain.

      So preoccupied was she at this moment, she was unaware that Diana was standing in the arched doorway to the sitting room. Diana was regarding Francesca closely, but lovingly so, filled with the tenderest of feelings for her cousin. She was suddenly glad Francesca was visiting them at this time, for her presence was comforting, reassuring even. That’s because she’s so down-to-earth, and so very steady, Diana thought. She has a normalizing effect on us all.

      Diana now took a deep breath, trying to still the troubling thoughts that continued to nudge at the back of her mind in the most maddening way. She was a little upset, she had to admit. Upset with Dieter Mueller, currently ensconced in the library with Christian; upset with herself, too, for allowing her irritation with Dieter to show so blatantly.

      Francesca lifted her head, saw her cousin and smiled. Diana moved forward, heading for the fireplace. She sat down heavily on the hearth next to Francesca, and said in a low tone ‘Cheska … Mummy’s in Munich.’

      Francesca tried to keep her expression bland, but she knew it reflected the concern swamping her. ‘Is she coming here?’ she asked, her voice equally subdued.

      Diana shook her head. ‘No. But she’s in Bavaria because of my birthday. She came specially to see me, so I’m meeting her on Friday. For the day.’ Her voice trembled slightly, as she added, ‘I’m dreading it, I really am.’

      ‘I’ll go with you,’ Francesca volunteered at once. ‘Perhaps I can be of some help.’ She genuinely meant this; nevertheless, the prospect of making the trip filled her with dismay, and her heart dropped.

      Diana was silent, considering, and then she said, ‘No, it’s not necessary, and there’s no point. Your father saw her last summer, when he was here with Doris, and it didn’t do a bit of good …’ Her voice trailed away, and her eyes filled up. ‘I adore Mummy, Cheska, you know that, so it’s unbearably painful for me to see her like this – so troubled and distracted.’ She blinked, brushed her eyes with her hand, swallowed hard. ‘I feel utterly at a loss. I don’t know what to do to help her any more … so frustrating …’

      ‘Oh Dibs darling, don’t tear yourself apart, please, please don’t. Your love helps her. It truly does, and in so many different ways.’ Francesca took Diana’s hand in hers, held onto it tightly, wanting so much to comfort and reassure. ‘And your immense courage gives her such a lot of strength. Don’t forget, you and Christian keep her going, and there’s not much more you can do than that. Unless you can persuade her to take Daddy’s advice to go home to England, to live on the estate at Langley. That would be the best solution I’m su –’

      ‘You know she’ll never leave Berlin! Never.’

      ‘I suppose not.’ Francesca bit her lip and shook her head resignedly, knowing Diana was right in this assumption. She asked, ‘Is Christian going with you to Munich?’

      ‘Yes, of course. Try to keep him away. He’s in the same boat as I am, as far as Mummy is concerned. He adores her, worries about her, and is constantly seeking a way to make her lead a more normal life. Anyway, we’re leaving very early on Friday morning, around six o’clock, and we’ll get back in time to have supper with you’

      ‘That’s such a short visit. Look, why don’t you stay longer?’

      ‘I would like to spend the weekend with her, but when she ’phoned this morning she told Christian she’s going back to Berlin on Saturday. She never stays away from there very long …’

      ‘Perhaps that’s understandable in a way, Dibs. Her memories are in Berlin. And so many hopes.’

      Diana looked past Francesca, her face washed with sadness as she stared into the distance. Finally, she said, ‘False hopes, Cheska. Futile hopes.’

      ‘You and Daddy, and I too, believe they’re futile, but she doesn’t and she never will. Aunt Arabella is very stubborn. Kim takes after her in that respect, and perhaps I do too.’

      ‘Yes, it seems to be a family trait.’ Diana sighed. Suddenly she looked at Francesca quickly. ‘Incidentally, what are we going to do about Victor on Friday? It just occurred to me, there’s no one to take him skiing unless you want to brave it, and I really don’t think you should,’ she finished, aware of Francesca’s ineptitude on skis and her fear of high slopes.

      ‘Dibs, you don’t have to worry about Victor. He can go by himself. He won’t mind. Anyway, surely Manfred can drive him to the Rossfeld, or perhaps you can dig up one of your friends to go along. Don’t give it another thought. He’ll understand.’

      A watery smile flickered on Diana’s face. ‘I trust your judgment on that one, and look, I’m sorry I got all weepy just then. I didn’t mean to upset you, or burden you with my problems. You know I’m usually more controlled. But Dieter Mueller

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