LITMIR.BIZ

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piano, walnut paneling and bookcases crammed to bursting with first editions, it had been one of Alex’s favorite rooms, a place to retreat to after the stresses of the day. Now Peter paced it furiously like a caged tiger, shaking the newspaper in his hands.

      ‘I mean this is The New York Times for God’s sake, not some supermarket rag.’ The disdain in his voice was palpable as he read aloud: ‘“Alexandra Blackwell is believed to have been suffering from complications of the immune system for some time.” Believed by whom? Where do they get this nonsense?’

      Dr Barnabus Hunt, a fat, Santa Claus of a man with a tonsure of white hair around his bald spot and permanently ruddy cheeks, took a contemplative draw on his pipe. A fellow psychiatrist, and Peter Templeton’s life-long friend, he had been a frequent visitor to the house since Alex’s death.

      ‘Does it matter where they get it? You know my advice Peter. Don’t read this rubbish. Rise above it.’

      ‘That’s all very well, Barney. But what about Robbie? He’s hearing this kind of poison day and night, poor kid.’

      It was the first time in weeks that Peter had expressed concern for his son’s feelings. Barney Hunt thought: ‘that’s a good sign.’

      ‘As if his mother were some kind of prostitute,’ Peter raged on, ‘or a homosexual or a … a drug addict! I mean, anyone less likely to have Aids than Alexandra …’

      Under other circumstances, Barney Hunt would have gently challenged his friend’s assumptions. As a medical man, Peter should know better than to give any credence to the pernicious idea that Aids was some sort of righteous punishment for sinners. That was another thing the press should be blamed for: whipping the entire country into such a frenzy of HIV terror that gay men were being attacked in the streets, refused employment and even housing. As if the dreaded disease could be spread by association. 1984 was a bad year to be gay in New York City – something Barney Hunt knew a lot more about than his friend Peter Templeton would ever have suspected.

      But now was not the time to raise these things. Six weeks after Alex’s death and Peter’s grief was still as raw as an open wound. His office at the Kruger-Brent headquarters remained empty. Not that he’d ever done much there anyway. When Peter first married Alexandra, he’d insisted to Kate Blackwell that he would never go into the family business.

      ‘I’ll stick with my psychiatry practice, Mrs Blackwell, if that’s OK with you. I’m a doctor, not a businessman.’

      But in the years that followed, the old woman had ground him down. Kate Blackwell expected the men in her family to contribute to ‘the firm’, as she called it. And what Kate Blackwell wanted, Kate Blackwell always got in the end.

      But now Kate, like Alexandra, was gone. There was no one to stop Peter from spending entire days holed up in his study with the phone unplugged, staring mindlessly out of the window.

      The true tragedy of Alexandra’s death, however, was not Peter’s retreat from life. It was the wedge that it had driven between Peter and his son, Robert.

      Robbie Templeton was Barney Hunt’s godson. Having known him since birth, Barney had seen first hand the unusually close bond between Robbie and Alexandra. As a psychiatrist, Barney knew better than most how devastating it could be for a boy of ten to lose his mother. If not handled correctly, it was the sort of event that could fatally alter someone’s personality. Dead mothers and estranged fathers: two of the key ingredients for psychopathic behavior. This was the stuff from which serial killers, rapists and suicide bombers were made. The danger for Robbie was very real. But Peter point blank refused to see it. ‘He’s fine, Barney. Leave it alone.’

      Barney’s theory was that because the child internalized his grief (Robbie hadn’t cried once since Alex’s death, an immensely worrying sign) Peter had convinced himself that his son was OK. Of course, the psychiatrist in him knew better. But Peter Templeton-the-Psychiatrist seemed to have shut down for the moment, overwhelmed with the pain of Peter Templeton-the-Man.

      Barney Hunt, on the other hand, was still very much a psychiatrist and he could see the truth all too clearly. Robbie was screaming out for his father. Screaming for help, for love, for comfort.

      Unfortunately his screams were silent.

      While Peter and Robbie drifted past one another like two ruined ghosts, one member of the Templeton household provided a tiny, flickering light of hope. Named Alexandra, after her mother, but referred to from the start as Lexi, the baby that Alex had lost her life delivering was already an utter delight.

      No one had told Lexi she was supposed to be in mourning for her mother. As a result she yelled, gurgled, smiled and shook her little fists with happy abandon, blissfully ignorant of the tragic events surrounding her arrival into the world. Barney Hunt had never been big on babies – a confirmed bachelor, and closet homosexual, psychiatry was his life – but he made an exception for Lexi. She was quite the sunniest creature he had ever encountered. Blonde-haired and fine featured even at six weeks, with her mother’s searching gray eyes, she ‘smiled whene’er you passed her,’ like Robert Browning’s Last Duchess, as content to be held by strangers as by her doting nurse.

      She reserved her broadest grins for her brother, however. Robbie was entranced by his baby sister from the moment she arrived home from hospital, rushing to greet her as soon as he got back from school, irritating the maternity nurse by dashing straight to her crib whenever she cried, even in the middle of the night.

      ‘You mustn’t panic so, Master Robert.’

      The nurse tried to be patient. The boy had just lost his mother, after all.

      ‘Babies cry. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with her.’

      Robbie scowled at the woman, full of contempt.

      ‘Oh really? How do you know?’

      Peeling back the soft cashmere blankets, he lifted his sister to his chest, rocking her softly until her cries subsided. It was two in the morning, and outside the nursery window a full moon illuminated the Manhattan sky.

       Are you out there, Mom? Can you see me? Can you see how good I’m taking care of her?

      Everyone, including Barney, had been worried that Robbie might have very conflicted feelings towards the baby. He might even become violent towards her, ‘blaming’ Lexi in some simple, childish way for their mother’s death. But Robbie had confounded them all with an outpouring of brotherly love that was as unexpected as it was clearly genuine.

      Lexi was Robbie’s therapy – Lexi and his beloved piano. Whenever he felt the smooth, cool ivory beneath his fingers, Robbie was transported to another time and place. Every other sense shut down and he became one with the instrument, body and soul. At those times he knew his mother was with him. He just knew it.

      ‘Robert darling, don’t lurk. Come in.’

      The forced cheeriness in Peter’s voice made Barney Hunt wince. He turned and saw his young godson hovering in the doorway.

      ‘Uncle Barney’s here. Come and say hello.’

      Robbie smiled nervously.

      ‘Hi, Uncle Barney.’

      He never used to be nervous, thought Barney. Who’s he afraid of? His dad?

      Standing up, he clapped Robbie on the back.

      ‘Hey, Sport. How you doing?’

      ‘Good.’

      Liar.

      ‘Me and your dad were just talking about you. We were wondering how things were going at school.’

      Robbie looked surprised. ‘School?’

      ‘Yeah, you know. Have the other kids been giving you a hard time? About the stuff in the newspapers?’

      ‘No, not at all. School’s great. I love it there.’

      He

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