LITMIR.BIZ

      Have you met Bob?

      On an unusually chilly day in San Diego, Lenore was rushing into her local UPS store in Del Mar when she essentially body-slammed into a rather strikingly handsome (her description), silver-haired gentleman who was rushing out with equal ferocity, sporting a scowl that would have made even the Dalai Lama take a step back. A shroud of sadness and anger seemed to emanate from his very being.

      She apologized profusely to him for her clumsiness, something for which she has had a great deal of practice, to which he responded with an eloquent, “Harumph.” Undaunted, Lenore was determined to get a smile out of this guy.

      “After making you drop so many things, the least I could do is buy you a cup of coffee or tea?”

      Silver-hair looked straight at Lenore like she was speaking Klingon, followed by a long, awkward silence. Her stubborn streak kicked in and she summoned up her best smile for him, trying to channel a Julia Roberts grin. He either decided he didn't have the energy to fight her or was so thrown he couldn't come up with something to help him escape and mumbled what sounded vaguely like “OK.”

      “Oh good! I could clearly use a few minutes to slow down. Thank you,” she said, and off they walked to the Starbucks next door. More precisely, Lenore walked and Silver-hair, whose name turned out to be Bob, followed begrudgingly.

      After an excruciatingly awkward five minutes of ordering and making feeble attempts at smalltalk while they waited for their white-and-green paper cups of warm magic to appear on the counter, they took a seat at a little table by the window. Lenore apologized again for running into him and told him how she was rushing around because she was flying back to Italy the following week, explaining how she ended up living a life on two continents after her father died, then getting a divorce and very much needing to escape the sadness of it all. Normally, Lenore never shares that level of personal detail with someone she has just met, but for some reason the gift of her Irish genes took over and her mouth took on a life of its own.

      Eventually, after a torrential river of words flowed from her mouth, the need to take a breath kicked in. Wondering if perhaps she had overshared, Lenore took a long sip of piping hot pumpkin latte (seriously, Starbucks, why not offer it all year?).

      Without warning, frustrated words started awkwardly tumbling out of Bob's mouth, and Lenore learned that his wife, Beth, had recently passed away. The cost of her medical care had destroyed much of their life's savings, which Bob had a hard time understanding, as he thought he had been so careful that he'd not even ventured near the stock market. On top of that, two of his three children were not even speaking to him because he had started dating his neighbor, Madeleine. Lenore got the distinct impression that Bob's wife hadn't particularly cared for Madeleine, which must have made for some painful family get-togethers.

      As he continued to talk, Bob jumped back and forth between expressing frustration over his financial affairs, the anguish he felt now that he was having to move in with his daughter, Sophia, who'd recently gone through a divorce herself, the delight at having found a woman who could make him laugh despite all his troubles and sadness, and anger at his other children for resenting his new relationship. When he finished, he stared down at his cup, fidgeting nervously with its plastic lid.

      Lenore could see he had the same, “Have I overshared?” look on his face, so she told him about how after her father's death, his side of the family had imploded with relationships permanently damaged at a time when she thought the family would have and should have been closer than ever.

      Sensing his troubles, Lenore offered, “My firm does investment management for families, so maybe we could help you sort through your finances and figure out where to go from here. It would help me feel better about having nearly knocked you into that wall!”

      They set a date and Bob suggested that perhaps Lenore could talk to his daughter, Sophia, who was struggling with pretty much everything as her divorce was finalizing. As they finished their respective beverages, Lenore suggested that Bob have Sophia call her, and they went their separate ways.