LITMIR.BIZ

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to throw all the couch pillows at her to make her hush.

      In such wise life was speeding for them on the day when Bob Babbitt first felt the power that the giftie gi'ed him.

      But let us get back to our lamb and mint sauce.

      When Bob got home that evening he found Jessie in a long apron cutting up a lobster for the Newburg. Usually when Bob came in mellow from his hour at the bar his welcome was hilarious, though somewhat tinctured with Scotch smoke.

      By screams and snatches of song and certain audible testimonials of domestic felicity was his advent proclaimed. When she heard his foot on the stairs the old maid in the hall room always stuffed cotton into her ears. At first Jessie had shrunk from the rudeness and favor of these spiritual greetings, but as the fog of the false Bohemia gradually encompassed her she came to accept them as love's true and proper greeting.

      Bob came in without a word, smiled, kissed her neatly but noiselessly, took up a paper and sat down. In the hall room the old maid held her two plugs of cotton poised, filled with anxiety.

      Jessie dropped lobster and knife and ran to him with frightened eyes.

      "What's the matter, Bob, are you ill?"

      "Not at all, dear."

      "Then what's the matter with you?"

      "Nothing."

      Hearken, brethren. When She-who-has-a-right-to-ask interrogates you concerning a change she finds in your mood answer her thus: Tell her that you, in a sudden rage, have murdered your grandmother; tell her that you have robbed orphans and that remorse has stricken you; tell her your fortune is swept away; that you are beset by enemies, by bunions, by any kind of malevolent fate; but do not, if peace and happiness are worth as much as a grain of mustard seed to you – do not answer her "Nothing."

      Jessie went back to the lobster in silence. She cast looks of darkest suspicion at Bob. He had never acted that way before.

      When dinner was on the table she set out the bottle of Scotch and the glasses. Bob declined.

      "Tell you the truth, Jess," he said. "I've cut out the drink. Help yourself, of course. If you don't mind I'll try some of the seltzer straight."

      "You've stopped drinking?" she said, looking at him steadily and unsmilingly. "What for?"

      "It wasn't doing me any good," said Bob. "Don't you approve of the idea?"

      Jessie raised her eyebrows and one shoulder slightly.

      "Entirely," she said with a sculptured smile. "I could not conscientiously advise any one to drink or smoke, or whistle on Sunday."

      The meal was finished almost in silence. Bob tried to make talk, but his efforts lacked the stimulus of previous evenings. He felt miserable, and once or twice his eye wandered toward the bottle, but each time the scathing words of his bibulous friend sounded in his ear, and his mouth set with determination.

      Jessie felt the change deeply. The essence of their lives seemed to have departed suddenly. The restless fever, the false gayety, the unnatural excitement of the shoddy Bohemia in which they had lived had dropped away in the space of the popping of a cork. She stole curious and forlorn glances at the dejected Bob, who bore the guilty look of at least a wife-beater or a family tyrant.

      After dinner the colored maid who came in daily to perform such chores cleared away the things. Jessie, with an unreadable countenance, brought back the bottle of Scotch and the glasses and a bowl of cracked ice and set them on the table.

      "May I ask," she said, with some of the ice in her tones, "whether I am to be included in your sudden spasm of goodness? If not, I'll make one for myself. It's rather chilly this evening, for some reason."

      "Oh, come now, Jess," said Bob good-naturedly, "don't be too rough on me. Help yourself, by all means. There's no danger of your overdoing it. But I thought there was with me; and that's why I quit. Have yours, and then let's get out the banjo and try over that new quickstep."

      "I've heard," said Jessie in the tones of the oracle, "that drinking alone is a pernicious habit. No, I don't think I feel like playing this evening. If we are going to reform we may as well abandon the evil habit of banjo-playing, too."

      She took up a book and sat in her little willow rocker on the other side of the table. Neither of them spoke for half an hour.

      And then Bob laid down his paper and got up with a strange, absent look on his face and went behind her chair and reached over her shoulders, taking her hands in his, and laid his face close to hers.

      In a moment to Jessie the walls of the seine-hung room vanished, and she saw the Sullivan County hills and rills. Bob felt her hands quiver in his as he began the verse from old Omar:

      "Come, fill the Cup, and in the Fire of Spring

      The Winter Garment of Repentance fling:

      The Bird of Time has but a little way

      To fly – and Lo! the Bird is on the Wing!"

      And then he walked to the table and poured a stiff drink of Scotch into a glass.

      But in that moment a mountain breeze had somehow found its way in and blown away the mist of the false Bohemia.

      Jessie leaped and with one fierce sweep of her hand sent the bottle and glasses crashing to the floor. The same motion of her arm carried it around Bob's neck, where it met its mate and fastened tight.

      "Oh, my God, Bobbie – not that verse – I see now. I wasn't always such a fool, was I? The other one, boy – the one that says: 'Remould it to the Heart's Desire.' Say that one – 'to the Heart's Desire.'"

      "I know that one," said Bob. "It goes:

      "'Ah! Love, could you and I with Him conspire

      To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire

      Would not we – '"

      "Let me finish it," said Jessie.

      "'Would not we shatter it to bits – and then

      Remould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!'"

      "It's shattered all right," said Bob, crunching some glass under his heel.

      In some dungeon below the accurate ear of Mrs. Pickens, the landlady, located the smash.

      "It's that wild Mr. Babbitt coming home soused again," she said. "And he's got such a nice little wife, too!"

      THE PENDULUM

      "Eighty-first street – let 'em out, please," yelled the shepherd in blue.

      A flock of citizen sheep scrambled out and another flock scrambled aboard. Ding-ding! The cattle cars of the Manhattan Elevated rattled away, and John Perkins drifted down the stairway of the station with the released flock.

      John walked slowly toward his flat. Slowly, because in the lexicon of his daily life there was no such word as "perhaps." There are no surprises awaiting a man who has been married two years and lives in a flat. As he walked John Perkins prophesied to himself with gloomy and downtrodden cynicism the foregone conclusions of the monotonous day.

      Katy would meet him at the door with a kiss flavored with cold cream and butter-scotch. He would remove his coat, sit upon a macadamized lounge and read, in the evening paper, of Russians and Japs slaughtered by the deadly linotype. For dinner there would be pot roast, a salad flavored with a dressing warranted not to crack or injure the leather, stewed rhubarb and the bottle of strawberry marmalade blushing at the certificate of chemical purity on its label. After dinner Katy would show him the new patch in her crazy quilt that the iceman had cut for her off the end of his four-in-hand. At half-past seven they would spread newspapers over the furniture to catch the pieces of plastering that fell when the fat man in the flat overhead began to take his physical culture exercises. Exactly at eight Hickey & Mooney, of the vaudeville team (unbooked) in the flat across the hall, would yield to the gentle influence of delirium tremens and begin to overturn chairs under the delusion that Hammerstein was pursuing them with a five-hundred-dollar-a-week contract. Then the gent at the window across the air-shaft

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