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had a nanny from Lithuania, who told us that her close relative who worked in England, shared with her, with shock that there are more than ever bars where a woman can visit with an infant. There is loud music, smoke, they are drinking alcohol, and look for new sexual partners between breastfeeding…

      Upbringing in Goodness: it is important for mother to eat fresh and nourishing food – food in goodness allows mother to stay healthy and helps the child develop properly. The best place to live in is in the countryside, surrounded by nature; it makes it easier for mother to remain relaxed and peaceful during the pregnancy. She should also associate with those who are loving and supportive, avoiding those who are heavily influenced by lower or negative energies.

      When a child is raised in goodness, the home is clean and located in the countryside with an atmosphere of mutual respect and harmony. Parents, particularly the mother, consider the upbringing of children to be the primary duty. Children receive ample love. When they make a mistake the parent’s reaction is “You have made a mistake”, but never “You are bad”. Parents nurture their child according to their individual talents and desires and not based on their own selfish motives, “My child must become a diplomat, celebrity, doctor, lawyer, etc…” Their prime concern is to make sure that their child becomes a balanced, virtuous person. Parents watch the diet of the child and feed him natural sattvic food, choose his association and communication. Parents develop altruistic mindset from the childhood. They teach him to be generous, not an egoistic consumer. Parents teach to say a prayer before meals, take part in charitable events, help others, be modest. They prepare a child to a happy family life, teaching him that family is a value of utmost importance.

      A system where boys and girls are educated separately is a main condition of raising children in sattva especially in adolescence. Schools located near parks, on the nature, in beautiful places are in goodness. The mother, ideally, stays at home, or works part-time for her own pleasure, and this work does not interfere with a child’s upbringing.

      I read that minister of education of one of the Canadian provinces admitted that it is best for children’s health and happiness when the mother is staying at home with children.

      Raising a child begins even before conception. Approximately one year in advance parents must start cleansing their bodies of toxins, purify their consciousness and subtle bodies from resentment, anger and other negative emotions. The act of conception is performed in a responsible manner – in a clean atmosphere, during an astrologically auspicious time, in an elevated state of consciousness and preceded by prayer.

      During the pregnancy everything is arranged so as to allow the mother to stay in a loving and pleasant environment. It is understood that the pregnancy and the first two or three years of a child’s life are essential periods for their physical and psychological development. At this stage it is important to relate properly to the child, giving him plenty of time and affection.

      There are special methods for raising a child which we have only touched on here.

      From the age of six to fifteen, parents should be somewhat strict with their child, because they know that during this period they need some restrictions. Otherwise, if they are given the freedom to do whatever they want, they would start to eat all kinds of junk food, and may even end up smoking, taking alcohol or drugs, watching pornography, etc…

      From the age of fifteen parents should adopt a more friendly relationship with their child. By this point his character has already been formed, so it is generally unfeasible and utterly unnecessary to maintain a strict control over him.

      When comparing Western systems of education, the English private school system used to have, and still has to some extent, a substantial element of sattva. For example, such schools were usually located in rural areas, surrounded by nature. Before the age of fourteen boys were disciplined very strictly, but once their individual characters were formed they were treated like gentlemen. Yet once the lament of passion and ignorance was introduced – free sex – the whole system stopped working.

      How to Protect Your and Your Child’s Future

      Taking care of children is an extremely serious matter; it is essential to understand that children are our future. They are our future both directly and indirectly: directly they continue our genetic lineage and indirectly (on a subtle, energetic level) they increase our future energy. Our future is greatly affected by how we care for and relate to our children. Yet this potential power can be destroyed by over-indulgence or by excessive fear for them and their future. On the other hand, negligence can also be damaging.

      For example, influenced by passion, a father who is absorbed in his work may only see his children when they are asleep or briefly at the weekend. Because he is working to supply all necessities for his family, he thinks that his wife is responsible for looking after their children because she is not working, and thus justifies his behaviour. But they also need their father’s love – the energy of the Sun (yang). He may experience success for some time despite ignoring this important part of his life. However his actions create a conflict which triggers nature’s defensive system; nature does not forgive the neglect of children. As a result illness, depression and financial difficulties will come, and problems will arise in various relationships. Not only the individual and his family can be affected, but society as a whole. The effects’ can be even worse if it is the mother that becomes overwhelmed by or absorbed in her career.

* * *

      Such women frequently come to me for consultations in Moscow. I met one lady, divorced and in her late thirties, who wanted a normal family and more children. But at the same time she was neglecting her child from her first marriage, although by sending him to the best school and buying him expensive toys she imagined herself to be adequately doing her duty. Why should nature give her more children?

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      A pleasant, pregnant woman used to work at one bank in Jerusalem where I had an account. She stopped working just a few days before giving birth and I thought I would not see her for a long time. But three months later when I popped into the bank, I was surprised to see her again. I asked her if she was okay and she joyfully replied, “Yes, everything is great, the baby is wonderful”. When I asked why she had returned, she explained that her maternity pay only covered the first three months and the bank would ask her to leave if she did not work. She worked from eight to ten hours a day and most of her salary was spent on child-minding fees. Her main concern was whether she would get promoted the following summer. This shows passion in action.

      Such is the life of many modern women, regardless of the assertion of modern scientists and psychologists that the longer a child is breastfed the healthier he will be, physically and psychologically. During one of the Dalai Lama’s visits to America he was asked, “What is your main message?” People were stunned and confused when he replied, “Ladies, breastfeed your babies!”

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      Recently one businessman came to me for a consultation. His company secretly inspects and monitors the conduct of babysitters when the parents are absent. He almost went bankrupt because so few people wanted to use this service. Parents were worried that if they found out the babysitter was unsuitable, this would affect their work schedule or their social life. Their main concern was that at least there should be someone to look after their children. Eighty percent of those who used his service decided to change their babysitter because they could see how badly their child was being cared for. This is passion – to leave a baby with a practical stranger rather than hinder their own enjoyment.

      Chapter 4

      Being Proactive

      Life should be lived now; it can’t be put aside all the time.

Irvin Yalom

      Being Proactive brings Success in Life

      Sattva means that we act proactively in all aspects of our life, that we plan our lives in a conscious manner rather than carelessly reacting to things or being carried along by others. One of the most important areas of our life is how and what we eat – the eating process is connected to our

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