Anxiety and Depression Workbook For Dummies - Laura L. Smith

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Was Cousin Jack a neat freak? Was your grandmother a recluse? What was your great-grandmother like? Why are these questions important? Because depression and anxiety tend to run in families. And genes could be responsible for a portion of your emotional distress.

Worksheet 2-1 Possible Family Origins

Members of my family with anxiety or depression (brothers, sisters, cousins, parents, uncles, aunts, and grandparents):

      

Before you go blaming your grandmother for your anxiety, consider the possibility that anxiety was learned and passed on from generation to generation. For example, imagine your great-grandmother grew up in the Great Depression. She always worried about money and food. Her worries were real: She didn’t have enough money or food. She repeatedly told your grandmother that the world was unsafe. Your grandmother passed that tendency down to your mother, who also worried all the time. Now you, too, are a worrier. Is that trait genetic or learned? Probably both.

      In addition to genetics, depression and anxiety can have biological underpinnings in the drugs you take (legal or illegal) or as the result of physical illness or injury. Drugs, whether over-the-counter, prescription, or illegal, have many side effects. Sometimes solving your problem is as simple as checking your medicine cabinet for possible culprits.

      

Almost any medication you’re taking can influence your emotions negatively. Check with your pharmacist or primary care physician to see if your medication may be causing part of your problem. Just don’t stop taking the medication without medical consultation.

      In addition, alcohol is widely known to contribute to depression or anxiety when it’s abused. Some people find that even moderate amounts of alcohol exacerbate their problems with mood. Alcohol also interacts with a variety of prescribed and over-the-counter drugs to produce harmful and even deadly results.

      Finally, illegal drugs such as cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, ecstasy, and so on are sometimes taken to alter moods. In the short run, they accomplish that goal; but in the long run, they almost inevitably worsen mood problems.

      The sadness and angst you feel today may have sprouted from seeds planted in your past. Therefore, exploring your personal history provides clues about the possible origins of your problems. The exercise in this section, called the Emotional Origins form, takes a little time.

      The Emotional Origins exercise makes you revisit your childhood by asking questions about your parents or other caregivers and your childhood experiences. Some of the memories involved may evoke powerful emotions; if you start to feel overwhelmed, you may want to stop the exercise and consult a mental health professional for guidance and support.

      Filling out this form is a lot easier after you look over an example. Here’s an example of how Tyler filled out his Emotional Origins form.

Tyler suffers from many physical signs of depression, such as lack of energy and increased appetite. He has little insight as to the origins of his depression. His physician refers him to a social worker, who suggests he fill out an Emotional Origins form (see Worksheet 2-3) to examine his childhood experiences.

Questions About Your Caregivers 1. Who were the primary caregivers in my childhood, and what were they like? Describe their personalities. My mother was self-centered and rarely thought much about what my sister and I needed. When things didn’t go her way, she exploded. She was domineering and incredibly uptight. She was a perfectionist who talked about the “right way” or the “wrong way” to do things. I also remember that she always acted like a martyr. Everyone liked my dad because he was funny and friendly. But I don’t really remember him joking that much with me. He mainly criticized me because I was clumsy and didn’t like to go hunting with him. My parents divorced when I was 11 years old. When I was in high school, my mother had a boyfriend who lived with us. He was nice, but we really didn’t hit it off. I think I was sort of jealous of the attention my mother gave him. 2. How was love and affection expressed by each caregiver? Neither of my parents ever said, “I love you,” and I can’t remember getting hugs from them. I always saw other families hug each other, and that made me feel awkward. As an adult, I still feel weird in social situations when people greet each other with hugs. My mother would tell other people how much she loved her kids, but it seemed like she was talking about some other kids, not my sister and me. She wanted everyone to think that she was the perfect mother, wife, and homemaker. It was all about her. Like I said before, my father was friendlier to other people than to me. He seemed to care about himself more than his family. I never said “I love you” to either of my parents. Now they’ve both passed away, and I feel guilty that I never said those words to them. I do realize why it was so hard for me to tell them when they never told me either. 3.

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