LITMIR.BIZ

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born, we live and then we die. Now only two of these are really guaranteed. If you're reading this now, then you've definitely been born, which in itself – as previously mentioned – is extraordinary.

      And guess what? You're definitely going to die. Again, blunt. But true.

      Being born is mind‐blowing, but it's easy. Not for Mum obviously, she does all the work, you did absolutely nothing. Like dying, it just happens. Neither are particularly pleasant or enjoyable for anyone but for the individual on their way in or out, easy‐peasy.

      But do you believe in life after delivery?

      I've already said it, life can be rubbish. It requires energy and effort. It can feel like a chore but the more skilled at it we become, the better at it we get and the happier we feel.

      We all have different thoughts and opinions when it comes to living our best life and what that even means. That's what keeps the world exciting, we're all different. But really, who has actually nailed living? Has anyone truly perfected life?

      Nope, of course not. But we can give a go! And when better to give life a damn good go than in your teens.

      Think back to when you were a wee kid and you saw your teacher outside of school, perhaps in the supermarket or in a restaurant. Remember how it made you feel? It was always one of life's real ‘WOW’ moments. It was exciting, mind‐blowing, weird and incredibly warming all at once. And it kinda made us feel on edge a little.

This is how being a teenager can feel, sometimes daily. Why? Because being a teenager is exciting, mind‐blowing, weird and incredibly warming.

      And guess what? It kinda makes us feel on edge a little. This isn't just felt by teenagers though, this is what truly being alive should always feel like.

      You're not 4 or 5 anymore. No one is expecting you to wake up every day buzzing. Now, depending on where you are from, the word ‘buzzing’ has many different meanings, but you know what I mean.

      I'm talking about pinging out of bed with excitement and enthusiasm every single day, raring to go!

      In most other books about teenagers, it's here they would present to you a whole bunch of science and aim to educate you all about your brain, demonstrating the changes that happen, in turn leading to the fact you no longer jump out of bed every morning excited about going for a poo and eating cereal.

      But I told you this book is like you, it's not normal. So, instead, some more questions….

       Are you happy most of the time?

      I'm going with ‘most of the time’ as we simply cannot be happy all the time.

       Is there a great big, enormous fire in your belly for life?

      What's the point in even having a belly if there's no fire in it, right? Think back to you when you were about 4 years old. The fire was stoked daily. Everything was exciting.

Experts tell us life is all about being in the moment, making the most of now, not worrying about the future and living life in the present. But you get to wrap that present up however you want it. Sounds a bit cheesy but life is like wrapping a present. Sometimes it just folds beautifully without even trying. That moment the scissors glide as if by magic and the sticky tape tears beautifully.

      Then there's the moments where the paper creases, the scissors tear the paper, you've got the whole roll of tape stuck to the present, it's not folding anything like it should be but you're so past caring you just accept it for what it is. Then to add insult to injury, you've not measured it out properly, so you need to cut another piece and patch it up. You've half‐assed it and for now it will have to do.

      At 18 years of age, still scared, I finally decided to wrap my present up the way I had always dreamt. If there was ever a job for someone terrified of crowds, public humiliation and other people's opinions it certainly wasn't the world of comedy. So, naturally, I booked myself a gig, put myself on a stage and became a stand‐up comedian….

      I did my first gig. It felt incredible. Over the last 20 years I have performed all over the world. Good gigs, terrible gigs, great gigs. So many ups and downs. I've met the most wonderful people and the main thing I have learned is this.

      If you're faced with an opportunity that's both terrifying and amazing, then you should totally go for it.

Welcome to life. Teenage life. The weirdest 7 years you'll ever have. Terrifying and amazing. My challenge to you is to wrap your 7 years up however the hell you want to. Stop pretending to be normal, embrace your inner weird, never grow up, be you and be sure that for your 7 years, you act your age. Literally.

       ‘No matter what you do, in the beginning it’s going to suck, because you suck. But you’ll get better, and you’ll suck less. And as you keep doing this, eventually you’ll suck so little, you’ll actually be good.’

       —Garrett J. White

CHAPTER 2 Head. Cloud. Heart. Sleeve.

       ‘You believed in Santa for 10 years, you can believe in yourself for 10 seconds.’

       —Anon

      I fell off my scooter the other day. When I say scooter, I mean an actual scooter. Not a moped with an engine. Not an electric scooter, a literal scooter. A kid's one. Except it's mine.

      I was feeling particularly confident for a non‐scooter stunt specialist. I figured I could do a bit of a jump while going full speed. Not even a spectacular jump, literally a bit of a jump.

      I'm not sure if I hit a stone or crack in the pavement but my scooter stopped immediately. I didn't. I went over the top at what felt like 70 miles per hour and hit the ground at what felt like 100 miles per hour. If there was ever a word to describe how I hit the ground, it's ‘slam’. The kind of fall that if someone had filmed it, I'd be viral, and the world would laugh together, secretly wondering if I lived. Imagine a meteor hitting the road, tearing up the tarmac. I'm the meteor.

      I think overconfidence perhaps had something to do with it. I am now very, very sore. The thing is, sometimes our confidence can get us in trouble.

Did you know that 8% of males and 7% of females think they could beat a lion in a fist fight? This is definitely the kind of confidence that's going to get people in trouble.

      We're told all through life from a very young age that confidence is key. The way one carries themselves, acts, stands, walks, talks and interacts with others. How you walk into the exam hall, that job interview or the first time you ask someone out, confidence matters. There even comes a day they tell us that confidence is an attractive trait for humans to have.

      That explains why I was rubbish with exams and girls!

      The thing is, there's believing in yourself and then there's downright delusion. Believing you can make a brilliant ham sandwich is confident, believing you can beat a lion in a fight is hilarious.

      We all know someone who we could describe as overconfident. But is overconfidence really a thing, can we actually be too confident? Can confidence actually become a hindrance?

      And, perhaps more importantly, what about those of us who lack confidence? Does it mean that unless we are bursting with confidence, we don't stand as good a chance as our peers at achieving greatness?

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