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lead. Legend has it that Dwight Eisenhower defined leadership as the art of getting someone to do something that you want done because they want to do it. In this approach, leaders still have clearly defined goals, and they still need the people around them to work toward those goals. But this leadership style doesn't appeal to formal authority or coercion; instead, it depends on the leader's ability to persuade, motivate, and create common purpose. Whatever's on your business card, you can lead if you can inspire people to act.

      When leadership is understood as a series of relationships, no person is excluded from the privilege and responsibility of leading. You may or may not have a big desk in the corner office or make policy decisions that affect thousands of lives. You are, however, surrounded by people with whom you can forge empowering bonds; you can inspire others with your compassion, talent, and commitment; and you can improve others' lives by engaging in their stories, emotions, and beliefs.

      That's all a way of saying something that seems so simple, but is also rich, challenging, and full of urgent promise: leadership is a relationship.

      1 1. Trevor Haynes, “Dopamine, Smartphones & You: A Battle for Your Time,” Science in the News, Harvard University Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, May 1, 2018, https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2018/dopamine-smartphones-battle-time/. Haynes's article offers an accessible overview of the neurobiology of smartphone use.

      2 2. Melanie Curtin, “Are You On Your Phone Too Much? The Average Person Spends This Many Hours On It Every Day,” Inc., October 30, 2018, https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/are-you-on-your-phone-too-much-average-person-spends-this-many-hours-on-it-every-day.html.

      3 3. James Vincent, “Former Facebook Exec Says Social Media Is Ripping Apart Society,” Verge, December 11, 2017, https://www.theverge.com/2017/12/11/16761016/former-facebook-exec-ripping-apart-society.

      4 4. Sherry Turkle, Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age (New York: Penguin, 2015); Sherry Turkle “The Flight from Conversation,” The New York Times, April 21, 2012, EPUB.

      5 5. Ibid.

      6 6. “Loneliness and the Workplace: 2020 U.S. Report,” Cigna Newsroom, Cigna, January 23, 2020, https://www.cigna.com/static/www-cigna-com/docs/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/combatting-loneliness/cigna-2020-loneliness-factsheet.pdf.

      7 7. Oxford Reference, s.v. “Recency bias,” accessed May 22, 2021, https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100407676.

      8 8. “American Time Use Survey—2019 Results,” Economic News Releases, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, June 25, 2020, https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/atus.pdf.

      9 9. Ira Flatow, “The Myth of Multitasking,” NPR, May 10, 2013, https://www.npr.org/2013/05/10/182861382/the-myth-of-multitasking.

      10 10. Jamie Ducharme, “COVID-19 Is Making America's Loneliness Epidemic Even Worse,” Time, May 8, 2020, https://time.com/5833681/loneliness-covid-19/.

      11 11. For an accessible, and probably the most prominent, example of this research, see Frans de Waal's Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are? (New York: W.W. Norton, 2016).

      12 12. Alexandrea J. Ravenelle, “For Workers in the Gig Economy, Client Interactions Can Get … Weird,” Wired, March 17, 2019, https://www.wired.com/story/book-excerpt-gig-economy-weirdness/.

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