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said.

      The mewing had ceased. Everyone listened in breathless silence. We all know that cats eat rats – it is one of the first things we read in our little brown reading books; but all those cats eating all those rats – it wouldn’t bear thinking of.

      Suddenly Robert sniffed, in the silence of the dark kitchen, where the only candle was burning all on one side, because of the draught.

      ‘What a funny scent!’ he said.

      And as he spoke, a lantern flashed its light through the window of the kitchen, a face peered in, and a voice said:

      ‘What’s all this row about? You let me in.’

      It was the voice of the police!

      Robert tip-toed to the window, and spoke through the pane that had been a little cracked since Cyril accidentally knocked it with a walking-stick when he was playing at balancing it on his nose. (It was after they had been to a circus.)

      ‘What do you mean?’ he said. ‘There’s no row. You listen; everything’s as quiet as quiet.’

      And indeed it was.

      The strange sweet scent grew stronger, and the Phoenix put out its beak.

      The policeman hesitated.

      ‘They’re musk-rats,’ said the Phoenix. ‘I suppose some cats eat them – but never Persian ones. What a mistake for a well-informed carpet to make! Oh, what a night we’re having!’

      ‘Do go away,’ said Robert, nervously. ‘We’re just going to bed – that’s our bedroom candle; there isn’t any row. Everything’s as quiet as a mouse.’

      A wild chorus of mews drowned his words, and with the mews were mingled the shrieks of the musk-rats. What had happened? Had the cats tasted them before deciding that they disliked the flavour?

      ‘I’m a-coming in,’ said the policeman. ‘You’ve got a cat shut up there.’

      ‘A cat,’ said Cyril. ‘Oh, my only aunt! A cat!’

      ‘Come in, then,’ said Robert. ‘It’s your own look out. I advise you not. Wait a shake, and I’ll undo the side gate.’

      He undid the side gate, and the policeman, very cautiously, came in.

      And there in the kitchen, by the light of one candle, with the mewing and the screaming going on like a dozen steam sirens, twenty waiting motor-cars, and half a hundred squeaking pumps, four agitated voices shouted to the policeman four mixed and wholly different explanations of the very mixed events of the evening.

      Did you ever try to explain the simplest thing to a policeman?

       The Cats, the Cow, and the Burglar

       Table of Contents

      The nursery was full of Persian cats and musk-rats that had been brought there by the wishing carpet. The cats were mewing and the musk-rats were squeaking so that you could hardly hear yourself speak. In the kitchen were the four children, one candle, a concealed Phoenix, and a very visible policeman.

      ‘Now then, look here,’ said the policeman, very loudly, and he pointed his lantern at each child in turn, ‘what’s the meaning of this here yelling and caterwauling? I tell you you’ve got a cat here, and someone’s a ill-treating of it. What do you mean by it, eh?’

      It was five to one, counting the Phoenix; but the policeman, who was one, was of unusually fine size, and the five, including the Phoenix, were small. The mews and the squeaks grew softer, and in the comparative silence, Cyril said:

      ‘It’s true. There are a few cats here. But we’ve not hurt them. It’s quite the opposite. We’ve just fed them.’

      ‘It don’t sound like it,’ said the policeman grimly.

      ‘I daresay they’re not real cats,’ said Jane madly, ‘perhaps they’re only dream-cats.’

      ‘I’ll dream-cat you, my lady,’ was the brief response of the force.

      ‘If you understood anything except people who do murders and stealings and naughty things like that, I’d tell you all about it,’ said Robert; ‘but I’m certain you don’t. You’re not meant to shove your oar into people’s private cat-keepings. You’re only supposed to interfere when people shout “murder” and “stop thief” in the street. So there!’

      The policeman assured them that he should see about that; and at this point the Phoenix, who had been making itself small on the pot-shelf under the dresser, among the saucepan lids and the fish-kettle, walked on tip-toed claws in a noiseless and modest manner, and left the room unnoticed by any one.

      ‘Oh, don’t be so horrid,’ Anthea was saying, gently and earnestly. ‘We love cats – dear pussy-soft things. We wouldn’t hurt them for worlds. Would we, Pussy?’

      And Jane answered that of course they wouldn’t. And still the policeman seemed unmoved by their eloquence.

      ‘Now, look here,’ he said, ‘I’m a-going to see what’s in that room beyond there, and—’

      His voice was drowned in a wild burst of mewing and squeaking. And as soon as it died down all four children began to explain at once; and though the squeaking and mewing were not at their very loudest, yet there was quite enough of both to make it very hard for the policeman to understand a single word of any of the four wholly different explanations now poured out to him.

      ‘Stow it,’ he said at last. ‘I’m a-goin’ into the next room in the execution of my duty. I’m a-goin’ to use my eyes – my ears have gone off their chumps, what with you and them cats.’

      And he pushed Robert aside, and strode through the door.

      ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ said Robert.

      ‘It’s tigers really,’ said Jane. ‘Father said so. I wouldn’t go in, if I were you.’

      But the policeman was quite stony; nothing any one said seemed to make any difference to him. Some policemen are like this, I believe. He strode down the passage, and in another moment he would have been in the room with all the cats and all the rats (musk), but at that very instant a thin, sharp voice screamed from the street outside –

      ‘Murder – murder! Stop thief!’

      The policeman stopped, with one regulation boot heavily poised in the air.

      ‘Eh?’ he said.

      And again the shrieks sounded shrilly and piercingly from the dark street outside.

      ‘Come on,’ said Robert. ‘Come and look after cats while somebody’s being killed outside.’ For Robert had an inside feeling that told him quite plainly who it was that was screaming.

      ‘You young rip,’ said the policeman, ‘I’ll settle up with you bimeby.’

      And he rushed out, and the children heard his boots going weightily along the pavement, and the screams also going along, rather ahead of the policeman; and both the murder-screams and the policeman’s boots faded away in the remote distance.

      Then Robert smacked his knickerbocker loudly with his palm, and said:

      ‘Good old Phoenix! I should know its golden voice anywhere.’

      And then everyone understood how cleverly the Phoenix had caught at what Robert had said about the real work of a policeman being to look after murderers and thieves, and not after cats, and all hearts were filled with admiring affection.

      ‘But he’ll come back,’ said Anthea, mournfully, ‘as soon as it finds the murderer is only

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