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Windows of Opportunities. Heinrich Psscht
Читать онлайн.Название Windows of Opportunities
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9785005334503
Автор произведения Heinrich Psscht
Жанр Юмор: прочее
Издательство Издательские решения
– A diamond, sir?
– Don’t you know what a diamond is?
– No, sir! Never heard of it!
– And have not seen one either?
– On my honor, I have not seen one, sir!
– But you know what a haystack, hay or a needle is?
– No, sir, I have no idea!
– That is, you haven’t got the slightest idea what I was talking about?
– No, sir!
– At least you are an honest man, Hans! Kudos for that!
– Kudos, sir?
– Ah, forget it! Warm up the engine, we are jumping in 10 minutes!
– Yes, sir! Clear for action one, sir!
Cat
– Hans, what’s up? You look pathetic!
– No, not at all, sir! Yes, you are right, I’m a little sad, sir!
– Are you? Why’s that?
– I can’t figure it myself, sir!
– Hans, you know there is a sure remedy for sadness!
– I know, sir, it is to learn a charter by heart! But this is an old-hat joke, sir! We used to be told so at the Academy.
– That’s right, Hans, but at the Academy weren’t you also taught that to be sad is the worst thing in the world?
– We were never sad at the Academy!
– Even in the Flight Safety classes?
– Especially in them, sir! We did this… Once…
– Now you do look cheerful again, Hans.
– Yes, a little. Maybe we should keep some pets, like a fish or a cat?
– You’re out of your mind, Hans! What kind of sentimentality is that? Is there not enough work for you at the vivarium? Moreover, it is forbidden to keep animals on board the ship.
– No, I didn’t mean real, I mean artificial! Even translucent. I will find some corner for them. Models with the second level of intelligence.
– Like yours?
– You are kidding me, sir!
– Nearly!
– May I have some animals, sir?
– Come on, but not many. Mind you, animals may be artificial, but the problems associated with them could be real.
– I don’t quite understand you, sir!
– Affection, jealousy, attachment, excitement…
– I can handle them all, sir!
– Can you? But I think about myself now! I’ve just imagined them: transparent as ghosts, messing underfoot, or worst of all, talking to me…
– I can make them invisible to you, sir.
– Do you mean, you will have animal sprites in your head that are invisible to me?
– Yes, sir!
– Go ahead! One more, one less! I thought you don’t have room for more, but if there is still some space left – go for it definitely or indefinitely! Have you cheered up?
– Yes, sir!
– Then turn your attention on, there are several minutes left before the communication session begins.
Order
– Sir, there is a package delivered in the transfer device!
– Look what there is this time!
– It is the Order of the Empire! Your reward, sir! It reads that it is for the extraordinary courage shown while rescuing the Nightwalker spaceship last year.
– This is probably the one we’ve pushed through the window of opportunity. They didn’t want to go and offered fierce resistance.
– Yes, sir! You’ve received the Order for “Outstanding Contribution to System Security”.
– Serving the System, Hans!
– Serving the System along with you, sir!
– It is a great honor, Hans, for me and for the ship too! You must call me “sir’ from now on!
– But this is how I’m used to calling you, “sir’, sir!
– “Sir-sir”, that might be too much, Hans. One word “sir’ is enough. Otherwise I will have to call you Hans-Hans!
– Yes, sir! Sir…
– Hans, as I’ve said, you don’t need to repeat “sir’ twice.
– Yes, sir, but look, the box has disappeared and your order has also vanished!
– What The Fume, Hans!
– The fume has disappeared too, sir! Look, here is the holographic message instead: the physical order has been removed due to the policy of economy and modesty. Your title and nomination are retained, but without appropriate treatment and display rights. This is a new rule of the System!
– Serving the System, Hans!
– Serving the System with you, sir!
– It’s even more convenient, Hans, because the order can get lost, sting me with its pin, catch on, damage or scratch something with daily wear. I take it as a safety hazard precaution, Hans!
– Will you suggest these considerations to the High Council, or would you prefer me to do it, sir?
– Be my guest! I will see if you receive the Order “for the outstanding contribution to the security of the System”, which will also disappear without a trace in outer space… Do not forget to point out my efficient and careful leadership!
– Will do, sir!
– It’s a shame I didn’t get any shots taken wearing it.
– I did sir. I’ll print your portrait and embed a copy of the order in it. The order will come out of the plane. You will like it, sir!
– You are a true friend, Hans! I wonder who made the proposal for economy and modesty… I’ve got some clues though…
– I’m at a loss what to say, sir.
– I thought so, Hans! But don’t rush next time. Time must always be considered! Timing is everything in our business!
– Sorry, I don’t quite understand you, sir!
– Never mind! Take it to the left, we need to bypass that overfield.
– Yes, sir!
Captain
– Sir, may I ask a question?
– Come on, Hans, just be brief!
– How did you become the captain?
– How did I become a captain? Or how did I become the captain of this ship? See, these are two questions!
– Probably the first, sir!
– At first I became a navigator like you. You don’t want me to tell you how I did that, do you?
– No, sir!
– Then