LITMIR.BIZ

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having a panic attack.’

      He was just calm.

      On the outside.

      Matteo never let anyone glimpse his fear.

      He went over to a guy who was walking past and tipped the man’s burger into his hand and returned to Abby with the paper bag. ‘Breathe into this...’ Matteo said and he just kept on talking in his lovely deep voice and telling her she would soon be okay. ‘It will pass soon,’ he assured. ‘My sister Natalia gets them and they pass. I promise.’

      He just sat with her the entire way through it. Abby was sweating and white and her eyes were wide open and looking into his as she breathed in and out of the paper bag and then moved it aside.

      ‘He lost,’ Abby said and, with a sinking feeling, Matteo knew, he just knew, that they weren’t talking about Hunter losing the race today.

      Matteo felt sick; he actually did but he just looked back at her.

      ‘He lost a race...’ Abby said. She could not do it in full sentences. ‘I was ending it. We’d only gone out a few times. We’d never...’

      And he didn’t know what to say.

      ‘He got so angry.’

      Matteo just didn’t know what to say.

      ‘I told my father. He said not to report it.’ She shook her head. ‘You see, I was drunk...’

      And now Matteo did know what to say.

      It was his first rule.

      ‘Then he should have seen you safely home.’

      ‘I was in his hotel room.’

      No, he would not let her go there.

      ‘Then he should have checked into another or put you to bed and slept in the chair,’ Matteo said. ‘There’s no excuse for what he did.’

      ‘It was so violent.’ Abby relived it just for a second and she watched Matteo blink, not once but three times, and then he responded.

      ‘He should have treated you like glass,’ Matteo said.

      ‘It was my first time...’

      ‘Crystal glass, then,’ Matteo amended. ‘And that was not your first time—that’s not sex.’

      ‘It’s the only sex I know.’

      And then her panic came back because they were coming out of the press conference. ‘He can’t see me like this.’

      Yet she couldn’t stand.

      ‘What if we look like we were having an intimate moment—is that okay?’ Matteo gently checked and she nodded.

      He just wrapped her in his arms and she saw the yellow leather of Hunter walking past and she heard the increasing thud, thud, thud of Matteo’s heart and his breathing firing into rapid. Abby felt the tension in him and she knew that Matteo wanted to drop her and run and do what her father should have all those years ago.

      For her sake he didn’t.

      But then, at the last moment, when he recalled Hunter’s “I tend to get there first” line, Abby felt the rip of tension in him.

      ‘Please don’t,’ Abby begged when she felt him move to run but then his arms came tighter around her.

      ‘I won’t.’

      He wanted to though.

      Matteo now could barely breathe.

      Abby could feel him struggle to contain himself. Matteo even with a hangover in fierce heat did not break a sweat, yet he was swimming in adrenaline and his shirt was drenched and his breathing was coming fast and shallow.

      ‘I might need to borrow that paper bag...’ Matteo said.

      Still he could make her smile.

      And she waited for the questions to start but when her breathing was normal and she peered out from his chest, the only thing Matteo asked was if she wanted some water.

      ‘Please.’

      He went off to a vending machine and got her a drink and Abby drank it down thirstily, and Matteo was right; the panic had passed.

      ‘Better?’ Matteo asked.

      ‘Much,’ Abby said, though she was now incredibly embarrassed at what she had told him.

      ‘So, where do you want to go now?’ Matteo asked.

      ‘Go?’ It was the last thing she’d expected him to ask her but Matteo squatted down in front of her and looked right at her when, embarrassed by her revelations, she could barely now look at him.

      ‘We’re still celebrating your win.’ Matteo was insistent. He looked briefly over to the team, who were all on their phones and buoyantly posing for the cameras and Kedah was with them. ‘I’m guessing that you don’t want to go out with that lot...’

      ‘No.’

      ‘But you won,’ Matteo said. ‘And you have every day since that bastard did what he did, and do you know what? You deserve to celebrate.’

      ‘I do.’

      ‘So, go and congratulate Pedro. Tell him it’s covered tonight, whatever he wants.’

      ‘Er, I don’t know if you know what you’re agreeing to.’

      ‘You’re talking to me.’ Matteo smiled. ‘I know what a wild night is. Seriously, with the bet I put on I’m even more loaded than usual. I’ll get Kedah to go along with them. He runs wild but he’s a good sort. He’ll keep an eye.’

      Matteo didn’t, Abby thought, look at her like she had two heads; he just chatted away as if she hadn’t just told him her darkest shame. ‘You’re sure?’ she checked.

      ‘Of course,’ Matteo said. ‘Kedah will cover it and then I’ll see him right.’

      He went to the vending machine again and bought a cola for himself and another water for her, and then Abby did what she properly wanted to do but hadn’t had a chance to until now!

      ‘Pedro!’ She went over and gave him a hug.

      ‘How good was that?’ Pedro grinned. ‘Hunter’s spewing.’

      ‘I know that he is. You were amazing, Pedro. I couldn’t believe it when you took him. I still don’t know how you did that.’

      ‘I’ll tell you in detail over dinner tonight,’ Pedro said.

      ‘Actually, I can’t make dinner. I’m going to go out and chat up our sponsor,’ Abby said. She saw a little flare of relief in her crew that she wasn’t coming out with him, though they did their best to hide it.

      ‘Oh, come on, Abby,’ Pedro insisted but she shook her head.

      Yes, they all got on, but it was a very male world and she saw the tiny smiles as they realised that they wouldn’t have to behave as they always did around her.

      And that thought brought a lump to her throat.

      But these were nice tears that she was holding back.

      They all did behave around her; she already knew that but she fully realised it then.

      Abby’s team really were amazing.

      ‘Go and have the best night,’ Abby told them. ‘It’s all covered, whatever you want. Kedah will pick up the tab and Matteo will cover it.’

      Pedro frowned. ‘Are you sure?’

      ‘Yes! Now go and have a brilliant night!’ Abby said. ‘God knows you deserve it but,’ she warned, ‘remember that we’ve got an official breakfast tomorrow.’

      ‘Tell Matteo,’ Pedro said, ‘that I’ll take

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