LITMIR.BIZ

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to make sure he knew he was still handsome and desirable. More sex wouldn’t hurt. Sometimes the days slipped past and she’d realize it had been a week. Sometimes longer. The truth was sex between them had always been comfortable rather than urgent.

      Was that normal? She had no idea because it wasn’t a topic she’d dream of discussing with friends.

      Maybe he was having an affair?

      Even though she’d stopped the treadmill, her heart rate continued to accelerate. No. Ed wasn’t like that. They didn’t lie to each other. That was what they’d agreed that first night they’d met. Lauren trusted Ed implicitly.

      And they were happy. Happy couples didn’t have affairs.

      “Are you worrying about Mack? I know she’s been difficult lately.”

      She decided not to mention the pink hair. Let him notice it for himself later.

      “All teenagers are difficult. I remember your mother saying your sister was a nightmare.”

      Lauren realized she’d forgotten to call her sister the day before. Preparations for Ed’s birthday had eclipsed everything.

      “All my mother wanted to do was paint, and she was irritated by anything that disturbed that.” Still, when Lauren thought back to some of the things she’d done with Jenna, it terrified her.

      They were lucky to have come through childhood unscathed. Or mostly unscathed.

      “She’s growing up.” Ed was calm. “She doesn’t have to tell us every little thing. She’s pushing for independence, and we’ve always encouraged that. And as for being difficult, it’s nature’s way of making sure teenagers want to leave home and that parents are ready to push them out of the door.”

      “She’s sixteen, Ed. It’s years until she leaves home. And you know what the school told us. Mack is skipping homework and failing English. She’s always been a straight-A student. English is her best subject.”

      Ed frowned. “Physics is her best subject. Last year she wanted to do aeronautical engineering.”

      “That was before those girls started teasing her for being like a boy. Remember that horrible Facebook page they set up? Mack-the-man.” She’d been so upset she’d wanted to charge into school and chop off their damn princess hair with rusty scissors. It had taken a lot of maneuvering to have the page taken down and Mack had been left wounded. “She is smart. She could do what she likes, providing she works hard, but that’s the point. She isn’t. If she carries on like this, she’s going to fail her exams.” Unless there was an exam in sarcasm. Mack would ace that.

      “There’s more to life than being a straight-A student, Lauren.”

      “I know. But I also know how competitive the world is now. If you mess up your exams then you don’t get into a good college, and without a good college you don’t stand a chance of getting a good internship because there are literally thousands of people applying for every position. Sue Miller’s eldest graduated last summer and since then she has put in one hundred and fifty applications and hasn’t had a single interview. One hundred and fifty.”

      “Calm down. Mack is going to be fine, Lauren.”

      She was irritated that he didn’t even glance up from his phone.

      “But what if she isn’t? The school told us she’s not speaking up in class.” And since when had her daughter not spoken up in class? Mack had been speaking up ever since she’d learned how to put two words together. “And then there was that incident a month ago—”

      He glanced up. “That was a one-off.”

      “She was drunk, Ed! Our daughter was drunk and Tanya’s mother had to drive her home.” And Mack had refused to offer any explanation. She’d shut them out. That had disturbed Lauren more than anything. Was that when Mack had changed?

      “Teenagers experiment. Tanya’s mother should have kept a closer eye on the vodka bottle.”

      “It wasn’t a one-off. What about the time she took money from my purse? Our child stole, Ed.” What if Mack was experimenting with drugs? The more she thought about the list of possible horrors, the more surprising it seemed that today’s teenagers ever made it to adulthood. “I think she’s keeping something from us.” She recognized the signs, and it made her uneasy. A secret, she knew, could eat away at you slowly. It created a barrier between you and the people you loved.

      “Since when do teenagers tell their parents everything? You need to chill. Mack is doing okay. She’s not the problem.”

      Lauren stared at him, wrong-footed.

      “What do you mean?”

      “Nothing.”

      “You said, ‘She’s not the problem,’ which means something else is.”

      “Forget it.” His attention was back on his phone. “I might be late tonight.”

      “You’re kidding. Tonight is the party.”

      “The—what?” He looked confused and then closed his eyes briefly and muttered something under his breath.

      “Your party. Had you forgotten?”

      The pause was infinitesimal, but it was there.

      “No.”

      He was lying, and he never lied.

      Who forgot their own fortieth birthday party?

       What was on his mind?

      “We have thirty people coming, Ed. Friends, colleagues, your mother—” She managed not to wince and Ed nodded.

      “I’ll be there. See you later.” He grabbed a bottle of chilled water from the fridge they kept in the gym, and Lauren studied him from the back and wondered if tight Lycra cycling shorts on a man of forty was still a good look.

      He slammed the fridge door shut and straightened.

      “Thanks for the rain forest. It was a sweet thought and I’m sorry I overreacted.” He kissed her cheek. It was a dry, asexual gesture. “I love you. You’re a good woman, Lauren.”

      A good woman? What did that mean?

      “Maybe you should take time off. Mackenzie has three weeks at Easter. We could go away.”

      “Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

      Lauren watched him leave.

       She’s not the problem.

      By the time she left the house to meet her friends, she’d persuaded herself that Ed was having an off day and she was having a massive attack of overthinking. She felt invigorated after her workout, happy that everything was on track for the party, and reassured by the fact that Mackenzie had spoken at least eight words before leaving for school. Fortunately the school they’d chosen was close by. One of Mack’s friends lived a few doors away and they walked together.

      Most days Lauren managed to resist the temptation to track Mack’s phone to check her daughter was safe.

      She buttoned her coat against the cold and walked briskly along tree-lined residential streets.

      As someone who had lived her life on an island until the age of eighteen, the prospect of city living had daunted her, but she’d fallen in love with this area of London from the first moment Ed had brought her here. She loved the secret communal gardens, the elegance of the stucco-fronted houses and the candy-colored charm of Portobello Road. She enjoyed browsing in the market for secret treasures and discovering restaurants down hidden side streets. In those early years she’d explored the city with the baby tucked in her stroller, loitered in galleries and strolled through London’s many parks. She’d spent hours in the Tate Modern and the Royal Academy, but her favorite place without a doubt was the Victoria and Albert Museum,

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