LITMIR.BIZ

       CHAPTER THIRTEEN

      ALYSSA stared at Jadon, trying to comprehend what he was saying. Half-asleep, she was certain the neurons in her brain weren’t working properly.

      Because she could have sworn he’d just told her he had a twin brother.

      “I know it’s a shock, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Jadon was saying. “But Jack has a few…emotional problems. Rather serious problems.”

      A deep coldness washed over her body, seeping down into her bones. She felt slow and somewhat confused, very much like the day she’d slipped and fallen into Lake Michigan. “A twin,” she repeated carefully. “With emotional problems.”

      Jadon’s Adam’s apple bobbed nervously in his neck. “Yes. I can’t lie to you. My parents divorced before Jack and I started high school. The stress of coping with Jack’s illness eroded their marriage.”

      Her mouth went dry as she thought of little Grace and Gretchen. Was Jack’s problem hereditary? Was that why he’d kept it a secret? “What illness does he have?” she asked, dreading the answer.

      Jadon lifted a hand, his tone pleading. “I know what you’re thinking and there’s no reason to suspect that our daughters will also inherit Jack’s illness. No one in my family, or in my extended family, has the same problems as Jack. No one.”

      She wanted to believe him. More than anything, she wanted to believe her daughters would be fine. But he still hadn’t answered her question. Her fingers curled into her fists, her nails digging into her palms, although she was oblivious to the pain. “Jadon, what sort of illness does he have?”

      “Paranoid schizophrenia.” At her stunned expression, he rushed on. “Jack’s been getting treatment from a variety of doctors over the years, but this newest doctor, Elizabeth Cranberg, is the area expert in managing this illness. And Jack seemed to like her. But for some reason, like so many other patients with a chronic illness, once he feels better he stops taking his meds. And then he tends to suffer a bad relapse.”

      Jiminy Cricket, she never would have suspected Jadon’s brother had paranoid schizophrenia. She swallowed hard, hearing the exhaustion in his tone. She couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be to live with someone with such a debilitating condition.

      No wonder Jadon had been so protective of their psych patient Mitch. She understood now why he’d snapped at Susan that night.

      He’d lived with someone who was just like Mitch.

      “But, Jadon, schizophrenia does tend to run in families,” she said, her stomach tied up in knots. She’d learned that much in her psych class. “I’m worried about our daughters.”

      Jadon’s expression was grim. “Normally schizophrenia does run in families. But I researched this extensively the first time I left, and I discovered there are other reasons people come down with a form of schizophrenia. Jack was a wild child when we were young. He got mixed up in a rough crowd during middle school and began experimenting with drugs. That’s when we first noticed his behavior had changed. We put him in treatment several times. Even years later, when his drug screens were finally negative, his behavior was still erratic. I got him in to see Dr. Elizabeth Cranberg and she confirmed that his case didn’t show the classic signs of schizophrenia. She thought it was more likely related to his drug use, especially as there is no family history.”

      Had Jadon worried about coming down with the disease, too? Being Jack’s identical twin, he must have thought about the possibility. She couldn’t imagine how he must have felt, watching his twin and wondering if he might be next.

      “Is that why you told me you weren’t interested in a long-term relationship when we first met?” she asked.

      Jadon momentarily closed his eyes, his expression pained. “Yes. I didn’t tell you the truth from the very beginning because I was embarrassed. Maybe a little ashamed. I’ve had to live with the stigma of mental illness my whole life. My family has struggled for a long time. Jack’s illness ruined my parents’ marriage and then, when my father remarried, his second wife couldn’t cope either. You can see why I’d never planned on making a commitment.”

      The truth still had the power to hurt. Obviously if she hadn’t fallen pregnant, they wouldn’t be sitting here, having this conversation.

      She felt nauseous. The last thing she’d planned to do was to trap Jadon into something he didn’t want. Something he’d gone to great lengths to avoid.

      The same way her mother had inadvertently trapped her father. Who’d left once the novelty of being a parent had worn off. She knew comparing Jadon to her father wasn’t fair—he at least accepted his responsibilities. But she wanted more.

      “I always thought you didn’t care about me, as you never once talked about your feelings.”

      “I do care about you, Alyssa. Very much. I missed you more than I ever would have imagined. But then Jack needed me and I used him as an excuse to leave. I came back, thinking of getting in touch with you, only to find out you were pregnant.”

      “And me being pregnant meant more responsibility for you,” she guessed in a low tone.

      “Not just that,” he argued. “Alyssa, I’m trying to protect you, to keep you and our daughters away from the stress of dealing with Jack’s illness.”

      After seeing Mitch, she could somewhat understand what he meant. “Are you saying he’s violent?”

      “Psych

Скачать книгу