LITMIR.BIZ

      Table of Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       Copyright

      Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

      Acknowledgements

       Are the friends finished with the outdoors for good, or are they ready for another weekend of secrets and unfinished business …? Find out in the next glamptabulous instalments available to buy now!

       About the Author

       About the Publisher

       Chapter 1

      [Text message from Freya]

      999!!!! Just got off the phone w/ Charlotte. Oli wants divorce. She doesn’t sound great. We’re off camping in Wales at the weekend. Convinced Lotte to join us. Any chance you girls want to come along too? There for a week and a bit. A friend in need, ladies

      [Emily]

      Wot? The ass. Does she have friends with her? (Is Izzy on this loop?).

      [Freya]

      We’re the friends, idiot. You & Izz in the loop. Will send postcode for campsite. It’s easy to find. Drive to Wales, reach ocean, see tents. Will text more deets asap.

      [Emily]

      Soz. Have back to back surgeries until the end of time. What do you people have against hotels? Surely Charlotte doesn’t want to drown her sorrows on an airbed.

      [Izzy]

      Oliver’s an idiot.

      [Freya]

      MONTY! Pull your effing socks up! The car won’t pack itself! Charlotte’s defo coming now. Begging Izz and Emms to come along. Izz being vague. Emms is lying about back-to-back surgeries. I know for a fact she was taking time off with Callum.

      [Emily]

      Well fuck you very much my friend. Have just changed an eighty-year-old woman’s hip into a titanium wonder, thank you very much!

      [Freya]

      Soz! Obviously intended for Monty. You’re all fabulous and I’ll love you all until the end of time. ESPECIALLY if you come. Izz? You can bring Bonzer. They love dogs as long as you clean up after them #bringpoobags. Emily. Come to Wales! We’re wild camping. Mobile detox! Chop firewood! Catch fish! Get in touch with your inner … ermmm … Chinese person. xxx

      [Emily]

      Okay, Mao. Thanks for the reminder of decades of enforced labour my grandparents endured so I could have a carefree life staying in HOTELS like a good little Tiger Baby.

      [Izzy]

      Is wild camping like a rave? Are children allowed? Will have to sneak Luna in even if non-age-appropriate. Have negotiated a truce with van. Will aim for day trip over weekend. Looney has school until then.

      [Emily]

      Have begged Evil Nemesis Surgeon to cover. No joy. Sorry girlies. Not looking good.

      [Freya]

      BYO pillow, Izz. Our car will be stuffed to the hilt. BYO tent if you have one. If you want anything beyond lukewarm, cheap plonk bring that, too. ()@£&%)!! Monty bound to forget ice. *deep breath* Emms – please come. I promise to paint your toes. You do remember this is about Charlotte’s husband being a total plonker, right?

      [Emily]

      Vomit face and Fu Man Chu for nails plz. Will try. No promises. Just read weather report. Major suckage incoming from Ireland. Still time to reconsider and meet in London instead.

      [Izz]

      Will bring bongos for child-friendly mini-rave. Please can we film Charlotte on the bongos? #PromiseNotToExploitHerGriefForComedicEffect Need snowsuit. Forgot how bloody cold it was here in summer.

      [Freya]

      Monty???? WTF? Hurry. Up. No sex for a week – not even a BJ if you aren’t back in five.

      [Emily]

      Freya. Please. There’s only so much we want to know about your private life.

      [Freya]

      My humiliation is complete.

      Charlotte shook away the cloud of washing-up bubbles and stared at her rings.

      She should leave soon if she was going to beat the traffic to meet up with Freya. She also should’ve packed. Should’ve baked a cake. Packed a hamper. It was very unlike her not to be prepared. It was also

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