LITMIR.BIZ

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his sandy-blond hair styled and his khakis pressed. He was Tucker’s polar opposite.

      Horrified at herself, she pushed the thought away. Sean was, she reminded herself, her rock. Not once through her ordeal had his devotion faltered. He’d been there for her, asking nothing, while she’d mourned Tucker during her pregnancy. He’d held her hand through the Lamaze classes, and attended Eli’s birth as her coach. He’d asked nothing from her until after the baby had been born, and then he’d only asked if they could become a permanent family.

      When she’d turned him down, she couldn’t help but realize the irony. Once, she’d asked the same thing of Tucker, who had turned her away as well.

      Sean was cookouts and cocktail parties, while Tucker was camping and football games. Of course they were different. If Tucker had been the sun blazing in the summer sky, Sean was the moon—peaceful, gentle and always there, no matter the season.

      Though seeing Tucker again had stirred up old emotions, she couldn’t hurt Sean, wouldn’t hurt him, not to go chasing after a fly-by-night wisp of a dream.

      Still, she couldn’t help herself from glancing out the window over Sean’s shoulder. Outside, though the occasional car drove past, she saw no one on foot. Once again, Tucker had breezed into her life like a hurricane, and barely an hour after his arrival, he was off and running.

      Worse, she could sense he hadn’t told them everything. She knew him just that well.

      “Tucker seems…different,” Sean said, almost as if he’d read her mind. “He’s hiding something,” he continued, reminding her that he knew Tucker as well as she did. They’d all grown up together, the three best friends their mothers had jokingly called the Stooges. Back in the day, they’d been inseparable.

      “He didn’t steal the money.” She felt the need to defend him, even though Sean probably knew this as well. “Tucker’s not the kind of man to steal.”

      Sean smoothed back her hair. “Who knows what he is these days. A year as a captive would change anyone. And ten million dollars is a lot of temptation.”

      She shuddered, glad Sean held her so close that he couldn’t see her face. “Please. Don’t say that. You know him as well as I do. After all he’s been through…”

      Sean didn’t answer, just tightened his arms around her and Eli, holding them close. Like a family.

      Then to her horror, her eyes filled. She felt the first tear stream down her cheek and swiped her hand at it. Pushing out of Sean’s embrace, she placed Eli, now quiet, in his playpen; she sniffled, trying to regain control of her emotions.

      “Lucy? Look at me, please?” Sean’s voice, oddly gentle, compelled her to raise her head. But then, as if she couldn’t help herself, her gaze slid past him and to the window once again, searching for a lean, broad-shouldered man who should be returning home and wasn’t.

      That did it. She gasped, powerless to stop it as her eyes filled and the floodgates opened.

      Sean pulled her close again and held her while she wept, bless him. Then, when she tried to step away to tidy up, he went and got the box of tissues and instead of handing it to her, carefully and gently wiped her eyes and face as if she was a small child.

      “Better now?” he asked.

      She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Again, she used Eli as an excuse, crossing to the playpen. His bright blue eyes were open, so she turned on the musical duck mobile and placed several brightly colored toys in the baby’s line of vision.

      “There,” she said, once she’d finished. “That should keep him occupied for a little while.” Somehow she took a step, and then another, amazed that her shaky legs still supported her. Once she’d reached the couch, she let herself drop into the soft cushions.

      “This just doesn’t seem real,” she said. “I can’t believe Tucker’s alive.”

      A shadow crossed Sean’s handsome face. “Do you still love him?” he asked bluntly. “Because I’m not willing to be second best now that he’s back. I have a right to know.”

      Of course he did, but the fact that he asked her this right now felt as though he was blindsiding her.

      “I…still have feelings for him,” she admitted. “But not romantic ones,” she hastened to add, as Sean’s face fell. “You know I still love him, Sean. Just as you do.”

      “As a friend,” he said, his tone hard. “And somehow I don’t think that’s the same kind of love that you’re talking about. You and he have been together since middle school.”

      Her gut clenched. “And now we’re not.”

      “You have a child together.” Plainly, Sean wasn’t about to let this go. “That’s bound to bring you closer.”

      His earnest brown eyes were guarded and full of hope and fear in equal measures. She felt a moment of pity, which she squashed, aware he wouldn’t welcome that.

      She couldn’t blame Sean for feeling threatened. Their engagement was too new, too fragile. He knew how much she’d loved Tucker. The question of whether she loved him still, she couldn’t really answer. She’d barely gotten used to the idea of finding him alive.

      “I can only tell you what I know. You have to understand that Tucker and I will always share Eli,” she answered softly. “But before he left for Mexico, Tucker made it plain he wasn’t ready to settle down.”

      A muscle worked in Sean’s square jaw. “What if he is now?”

      Smiling sadly at the question, she shook her head. “Think about what you just said. He reappears after a year, learns we believed him dead, and by way of explanation, he gives us this fantastic and almost unbelievable story. Still, I’m willing to accept that, because it’s Tucker.

      “Then, just as we’re all starting to relax and make an attempt to get used to the idea, he tells us he has to go for a walk to clear his head and boom—he disappears. He wasn’t even here an hour. And he’s gone. Just like always. He hasn’t changed.” She hoped he couldn’t hear the bitter pain in her voice.

      For a moment, that baby mobile was the only sound, as they stared at each other across the living room.

      “I don’t know what else to tell you.” She spread her hands. “Right now, just like before, I’m back to taking it one day at a time. I suggest you save yourself a lot of worry and try to do the same.”

      Sean didn’t appear too convinced. Still, he didn’t disagree with her statement, which was a sort of forward progress.

      “I’m not going to lie to you, Sean. Tucker’s reappearance has hit me like a punch in the stomach. I’m not sure what to think or how to act….”

      Suddenly, she jumped up, aware she had to keep moving or lose it again. “How about I make us a couple of sandwiches?” she asked brightly. “Just enough to tide us over until later?”

      He nodded, apparently willing to let the topic go for now. “Do you still want to go to the fireworks display at Folsom Field?” he asked carefully.

      Momentarily taken aback, she didn’t answer. On the one hand, any attempt at normalcy would be good. But on the other… Tucker was home. They should celebrate. Reacquaint themselves and get to know one another. Or something. But he wasn’t here, so she couldn’t exactly ask him what he wanted to do.

      Frustrated, she tried to think. She should be happy, ecstatic even. She didn’t understand why she felt so much like crying. Worse, she hated that she felt she had to hide this riot of emotion from Sean.

      “I don’t know,” she finally answered. “I guess we’d better wait and see if he even comes back.”

      And as Sean nodded his head in agreement, she realized that they both had just acknowledged that there was a very real possibility Tucker would not.

      Tucker

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