LITMIR.BIZ

       Three

      After a few hours at the house, Colin insisted on ordering pizza and Natalie finally acquiesced. That wasn’t a dinner date, technically, and she was starving. She wasn’t sure that he had put the idea of them being more than friends to bed—honestly neither had she—but they’d get there. As with all attractions, the chemical reactions would fade, the hormones would quiet and things would be fine. With a wedding and the house to focus on, she was certain it would happen sooner rather than later.

      While he dealt with ordering their food, she slipped out onto the back deck and sat down in one of the old patio chairs. The air was cold and still, but it felt good to breathe it in.

      She was exhausted. They’d gone through every room, talking over pieces to keep, things to donate and what renovations were needed. It wasn’t just that, though. It was the memories and emotions tied to the place that were getting to her. Nearly every room in the house held some kind of significance to her. Even though Lily and Colin’s parents had been dead for nearly thirteen years now, Natalie understood why Colin had been so reluctant to change things. It was like messing with the past somehow.

      Her parents’ marriage had dissolved when she was fourteen. The year or so leading up to it had been even more rough on her than what followed. Lily’s house had been her sanctuary from the yelling. After school, on the weekends, sleepovers...she was almost always here. Some of her happiest memories were in this place. Colin and Lily’s parents didn’t mind having her around. She suspected that they knew what was going on at her house and were happy to shelter her from the brunt of it.

      Unfortunately, they couldn’t protect her from everything. There was nothing they could do to keep Natalie’s father from walking out on Christmas day. They weren’t there to hold Natalie’s hand as her parents fought it out in court for two years, then each remarried again and again, looking for something in another person they couldn’t seem to find.

      Her friends joked that Natalie was jaded about relationships, but she had a right to be. She rarely saw them succeed. Why would she put herself through that just because there was this societal pressure to do it? She could see the icy water and jagged rocks below; why would she jump off the bridge with everyone else?

      She heard the doorbell and a moment later, Colin called her from the kitchen. “Soup’s on!”

      Reluctantly, Natalie got back up and went inside the house to face Colin and the memories there. She found a piping hot pizza sitting on the kitchen island beside a bottle of white wine. “Did they deliver the wine, too?” she asked drily. The addition of wine to the pizza made this meal feel more suspiciously like the date she’d declined earlier. “If they do, I need their number. Wine delivery is an underserved market.”

      “No, it was in the wine chiller,” he said as though it was just the most convenient beverage available. “I lived here for a few weeks after I broke up with Pam. It was left over.”

      Natalie had learned from Lily that Colin got a divorce earlier this year, but she didn’t know much about the details. Their wedding had been a quiet affair and their divorce had been even quieter. All she did hear was that they had a son together. “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. Do you still get to see your son pretty often?”

      The pleasant smile slipped from his face. He jerked the cork out of the wine bottle and sighed heavily. “I don’t have a son.”

      Natalie knew immediately that she had treaded into some unpleasant territory. She wasn’t quite sure how to back out of it. “Oh. I guess I misheard.”

      “No. You heard right. Shane was born about six months after we got married.” He poured them each a glass of chardonnay. “We divorced because I found out that Shane wasn’t my son.”

      Sometimes Natalie hated being right about relationships. Bad things happened to really good people when the fantasy of love got in the way. She took a large sip of the wine to muffle her discomfort. “I’m sorry to hear that, Colin.”

      A smile quickly returned to his face, although it seemed a little more forced than before. “Don’t be. I did it to myself. Pam had been adamant when we started dating that she didn’t want to get married. When she told me she was pregnant, I thought she would change her mind, but she didn’t. I think she finally gave in only because I wouldn’t let it go. I should’ve known then that I’d made a mistake by forcing her into it.”

      Natalie stiffened with a piece of pizza dangling from her hand. She finally released it to the plate and cleared her throat. “Not everyone is meant for marriage,” she said. “Too many people do it just because they think that’s what they’re supposed to do.”

      “If someone doesn’t want to get married, they shouldn’t. It’s not fair to their partner.”

      She slid another slice of pizza onto his plate. Instead of opting for the perfectly good dining room table, Natalie returned to her perch at the breakfast bar. That’s where she’d always eaten at Lily’s house. “That’s why I’ve made it a policy to be honest up front.”

      Colin followed suit, handing her a napkin and sliding onto the stool beside her. “And I appreciate that, especially after what happened with Pam. You’re right though. I’m the kind of guy that is meant for marriage. I’ve just got to learn to make better choices in women,” he said. Pam had been his most serious relationship, but he had a string of others that failed for different reasons. “My instincts always seem to be wrong.”

      Natalie took a bite of her pizza and chewed thoughtfully. She had dodged a bullet when Colin turned her down at the engagement party. She’d only been looking for a night of nostalgic indulgence, but he was the kind of guy who wanted more. More wasn’t something she could give him. She was a bad choice, too. Not lie-about-the-paternity-of-your-child bad, but definitely not the traditional, marrying kind he needed.

      “Your sister doesn’t seem to want to get married,” Natalie noted, sending the conversation in a different direction. She’d never seen a more reluctant bride. That kind of woman wouldn’t normally bother with a place like From This Moment.

      “Actually, she’s very eager to marry. It’s the wedding and the hoopla she can do without.”

      “That’s an interesting reversal. A lot of women are more obsessed with the wedding day than the actual marriage.”

      “I think she’ll appreciate it later, despite how much she squirms now. Eloping at the courthouse was very underwhelming. We said the same words, ended up just as legally joined in marriage, but it was missing a certain something. I want better for my little sister’s big day.”

      “She’ll get it,” Natalie said with confidence. “We’re the best.”

      They ate quietly for a few moments before Colin finished his slice and spoke up. “See,” he said as he reached for another piece and grinned. “I told you that you’d have dinner with me eventually.”

      Natalie snorted softly, relieved to see the happier Colin return. “Oh, no,” she argued with a smile. “This does not count, even if you add wine. Having dinner together implies a date. This is not a date.”

      Colin leaned his elbows on the counter and narrowed his eyes at her. “Since we’re sharing tonight, do you mind telling me why you were so unhappy to see me yesterday at the chapel?”

      “I wouldn’t say unhappy. I would say surprised. I expected Lily. And considering what happened the last time I saw you,

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