LITMIR.BIZ

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for you,” a junior counselor yelled.

      With a sigh of distaste, Peggy followed the girl, sure it would be Ted on the line.

      Gingerly, she picked up the receiver.

      “Hi, Peggy. This is Kirby. How are you doing?”

      Peggy was stunned into silence. What colossal brass!

      “I want to apologize for the other night,” he said. “I mean—well, I guess I shouldn’t have done what I did. I’m sorry.”

      Peggy’s mind darted back to the quick kiss, the slap. “Oh,” she said nonchalantly, “I had forgotten all about it.” Which was no lie, she thought.

      “Is that a compliment or a slam?”

      “Just a remark.”

      “Meant to put me in my place, I presume.” He seemed hesitant to continue. “Uh—there was one other thing,” he said. “I was wondering if you would reconsider getting together some time.”

      “I told you the other night, Kirby—”

      “I know what you told me the other night. I just hoped maybe you would have a change of heart.”

      “No. In fact, I’m more certain now than before,” she said, thinking of Beth.

      “Is it me personally you object to?” he asked.

      Again Peggy was taken aback by his brass. “You’ve got a nerve! Of course it’s you personally. That was a hell of a thing to do—grabbing me, kissing me—”

      “Peggy, we hardly know each other, but please listen,” he said. “I never saw a girl so attractive as you. You’re the most beautiful thing alive. Sure I lost my head—what guy wouldn’t? I’m not sorry, if you want to know the truth. I’ll carry that kiss for the rest of my life. I would have risked a hell of a lot more than a slap for it—”

      Peggy could not help being a bit moved. “Look, Kirby,” she said in a less chilly tone, “I’ve got to run now. I don’t want to go out with you, so let’s just drop it, okay?”

      “I’d better warn you—I don’t give up easily.”

      “And I don’t give in easily,” she retorted.

      Peggy hung up, amused and a little touched by his compliments and his ardent wooing. However, when she glanced at her watch she cursed him under her breath.

      Kirby’s phone call had deprived her of a chance to see Beth. This put a damper on Peggy’s high spirits. She sulked through the rest period but afterward, on the basketball court, as the minutes slipped by, her anticipation began to mount once more. At last the whistle blew, signaling the end of the period.

      Peggy bounded from the court. Quickly she changed into a fresh outfit.

      She brushed her hair while her young cabin mates, most of them already in swim suits, dawdled away the last few minutes before swim period.

      “Miss Peggy, aren’t you coming with us?”

      “I don’t have waterfront duty today,” Peggy answered brightly.

      Another girl said, “You look so pretty!”

      Peggy glowed inwardly. “Thanks, honey,” she said, inspecting herself in the mirror. A mint-green blouse topped rich brown Bermudas that were cinched at the waist by a wide dark belt. A green band held her corn-blond hair away from her face.

      Peggy fluffed the blondness and left the cabin, calling, “I’ll see you at dinner.”

      She sauntered downhill, past the lodge and into the Pillbox. There she slouched in the clinic’s one large chair while Beth finished with her patients.

      The nurse was carefully inspecting a little girl’s foot. At last she straightened and said, “I guess you can go swimming today. But keep putting the salve on before you go to bed.” She walked to her desk, scribbled something on a piece of paper and said, “Give this to Miss Mike. Then go up and change into your suit.”

      The girl was radiant as she bounced off the stool. She took the note from Beth. “Thank you,” she said. “Thanks, Miss Beth.”

      “And make sure to dry your feet,” Beth called, as the child ran out the door.

      Beth turned back to her desk, glanced at some papers, then up at Peggy. She smiled brightly. “Hi. What brings you—business or pleasure?”

      “Strictly a social call,” Peggy told her.

      “Well, step into my social department, said the spider to the fly.” She led the way into her room. “Have a seat. I want to get into my suit.”

      “Are you going swimming?”

      “I thought I’d soak up some sun.”

      Peggy’s face fell.

      “Is anything wrong? Did you have something you wanted to talk about?”

      “No. I—I just wanted to see you.”

      Beth stood planted in the middle of the room, watching Peggy. “Does this have anything to do with that business the other day?”

      “That business!” flared Peggy. “Is that all it meant to you?”

      “Listen, Peggy—” The nurse walked over to where the girl was sitting. “I’m sorry about that. I was hoping you had already forgotten it.”

      “Forgotten?” Peggy was incredulous. “How could I forget it, ever? Why, since it happened, all I’ve been thinking about is the next time. I could hardly sleep last night. I—”

      “There’s not going to be a next time, Peggy.” Beth spoke slowly, deliberately. Her voice was calm, her tone low.

      Peggy sat with her mouth open. “What did you say?” she asked finally.

      “I said there is not going to be a next time.”

      “But why not?” Peggy cried despairingly.

      Beth lowered herself to the arm of Peggy’s chair. Her eyes rested on Peggy’s tortured face. She took the girl’s trembling hand in her own. “Peggy,” she said carefully, trying hard to choose the right words, “Peggy, you mean too much to me—I can’t let you lead a twisted, miserable life. And lesbians are miserable.”

      “Then why—”

      Beth put her finger to the girl’s lips. “No questions. If I knew all the answers, maybe I wouldn’t have given in to you. Just because I did, and you found kicks in it, doesn’t mean you’re abnormal. It was a new experience for you, that’s all. The fun would wear off with the novelty. And I’m certain that some day you’ll find a man who can do as well for you, and probably a lot better.”

      Peggy glared at the nurse. “How can you say that? I dug it to the limit, Beth. Every minute of it. You know that. I remember everything you did. I—”

      “Liking it doesn’t make it right, Peggy.”

      Something burst inside of Peggy. “Right or not,” she exploded, “you like it, too! Don’t deny it, Beth. I may be a kid, but I know you want me as much as I want you, and maybe more. Do you think I’m blind to the way you’re always watching me? Your eyes are on me all the time—in the lounge, at the lake, here. Every time I glanced up, you used to be looking at me. At first I didn’t realize why, but now I know. And right this minute—even if you won’t admit it—your eyes tell me that you’re hungry for me, crazy to have me. Why fight it?”

      Beth’s stony gaze met her. “You’d better leave, Peggy.”

      Peggy’s spirit wilted. Her idol was displeased with her. “I’m sorry, Beth.” Her voice was barely audible. “I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just—”

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