LITMIR.BIZ

      BORGO PRESS BOOKS BY VICTOR J. BANIS

      The Astral: Till the Day I Die

      Avalon: An Historical Novel

      The C.A.M.P. Cookbook

      The C.A.M.P. Guide to Astrology

      Charms, Spells, and Curses for the Millions

      Color Him Gay: That Man from C.A.M.P.

      The Curse of Bloodstone: A Gothic Novel of Terror

      Darkwater: A Gothic Novel of Horror

      The Daughters of Nightsong: An Historical Novel (Nightsong Saga #2)

      The Devil’s Dance: A Novel of Terror

      Drag Thing; or, The Strange Tale of Jackle and Hyde

      The Earth and All It Holds: An Historical Novel

      A Family Affair: A Novel of Horror

      Fatal Flowers: A Novel of Horror

      Fire on the Moon: A Novel of Terror

      The Gay Dogs: That Man from C.A.M.P.

      The Gay Haunt

      The Glass House: A Novel of Terror

      The Glass Painting: A Gothic Tale of Horror

      Goodbye, My Lover

      The Greek Boy

      The Green Rolling Hills: Writings from West Virginia (editor)

      Green Willows: A Novel of Horror

      Kenny’s Back

      Life & Other Passing Moments: A Collection of Short Writings

      The Lion’s Gate: A Novel of Terror

      Love’s Pawn: A Novel of Romance

      Lucifer’s Daughter: A Novel of Horror

      Moon Garden: A Novel of Terror

      Nightsong: An Historical Novel (Nightsong Saga #1)

      The Pot Thickens: Recipes from Writers and Editors (editor)

      San Antone: An Historical Novel

      The Scent of Heather: A Novel of Terror

      The Second House: A Novel of Terror

      The Second Tijuana Bible Reader (editor)

      The Sins of Nightsong: An Historical Novel (Nightsong Saga #3)

      Spine Intact, Some Creases: Remembrances of a Paperback Writer

      Stranger at the Door: A Novel of Suspense

      Sweet Tormented Love: A Novel of Romance

      The Sword and the Rose: An Historical Novel

      This Splendid Earth: An Historical Novel

      The Tijuana Bible Reader (editor)

      Twisted Flames

      The WATERCRESS File: That Man from C.A.M.P.

      A Westward Love: An Historical Romance

      White Jade: A Novel of Terror

      The Why Not

      The Wine of the Heart: A Novel of Romance

      The Wolves of Craywood: A Novel of Terror

      COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

      Copyright © 1968, 2012 by Victor J. Banis

      FIRST BORGO PRESS EDITION

      Published by Wildside Press LLC

      www.wildsidebooks.com

      DEDICATION

      To “Don Holliday,” without whose help this would have been impossible, and to the entire C.A.M.P. staff, whose advice and help have proved invaluable, and to Jackie and Rich, whose constant prodding and encouragement led it its completion.

      To those “Three on a Broomstick”: Patty, Verna, and Maude, for the loan of the facilities of their test kitchen.

      To Sophie, whose constant willingness to test all recipes proved an invaluable aid (although at some times a nuisance).

      And especially to my co-conspirator, Lady Agatha.

      I am also deeply indebted to my friend, Heather, for all the help she has given me in getting these early works of mine reissued.

      And I am grateful as well to Rob Reginald, for all his assistance and support.

      To all of these my sincerest thanks.

      —Victor J. Banis

      CHAPTER ONE

      When the Queen Is in Her Kitchen (Getting Acquainted)

      And away we go! Back to that little room. No, not that one—the one just on the other side of that place they call the dining area. The kitchen, of course. Now, I’m sure you know your way around the other rooms, especially the one with the queen-sized you-know-what; but as I’m prone to mention from time to time, one of the ways to a man’s heart is through his stomach, which means that you’ll have to spend some time in the kitchen cooking (and unfortunately washing dishes, etc.).

      Let’s assume that it’s your first very own kitchen, and you don’t have a pot to put peas in. So what’s our first project? Equipment. Isn’t it always?

      Now you don’t need every little fancy gadget that you can find at the five-and-dime, but there are basics—let’s stick to them. A cast-iron skillet works just as well as one that’s coated with pastel porcelain, and costs a hell of a lot less. And if you look in one of your local thrift shops, you can probably find a used one at a small fraction of what a new one costs. The fact that it is already black is actually a prestige symbol, too: it doesn’t make you look so much like a novice and can actually aid in giving you confidence.

      Personally. I take advantage of every opportunity to shop for bargains in the Goodwill and Salvation Army stores—the prices are very lean and most items are in wonderful condition. If one of your sisters should be so crass as to ask where you got that “awful looking casserole,” just tell her that it belonged to your dear, departed great-grandmother.

      Now, how are we going to equip ourselves (I mean, kitchen-wise)? First of all we’ll need:

      SAUCE PANS—For your first experiments, two should be enough. I recommend that you have one two-quart pan and one with a one-quart capacity. Later you will want to get a small one-pint pan and perhaps more of the other sizes. Make sure that they have lids, tight-fitting ones. Many foods have to be covered, and although we could, in a pinch, simply set a plate or saucer on top of the pan, it isn’t entirely satisfactory.

      SPOONS—I would recommend an investment (less in the thrift stores) in a set of four or five wooden spoons for stirring. Later on I would certainly get a ladle and a slotted spoon, but they’re not necessary at the start.

      FRYING PAN—Get about a ten-inch skillet to start with, and again, one with a lid. If you find you need a larger size later on, you can always get it—but there’s no use investing in one of the little tiny ones, except for the sake of convenience.

      SPATULA—The broad type used by short-order cooks to turn hamburgers is the best all-round variety. There are others, too, and if your pocketbook allows or your vanity decrees, you may add them to your collection. But for pity’s sake, take into consideration the amount of storage space you have. We want to be able to move around in this little room, and find things easily.

      KNIVES—At least two to start. One chef’s or French knife, which is used primarily for chopping and cutting vegetables, but is easily adaptable to slicing meats as well; and one paring knife, which we’ll be using for all sorts of things. Others you might want to add to your collection eventually are a roast knife, a boning knife, a butcher knife, and a slicer. These all

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