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Don't Forget the Pepper Spray (Second Edition). Kristen Marie
Читать онлайн.Название Don't Forget the Pepper Spray (Second Edition)
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781456614935
Автор произведения Kristen Marie
Жанр Юмористические стихи
Издательство Ingram
His brother’s family had just finished their dinner. His sister-in-law asked if Judas wanted any of the left-overs, not me, just him. Keep in mind, we had just eaten, but the world-class athlete was all too eager to chow down a plate of Hamburger Helper.
He looked at me and ordered, “Go get me a plate of Hamburger Helper.” No please, no would you like some yourself. Just a commandment.
I had had just about enough, so I looked right back at him and replied, “Your legs aren’t broken, go get it yourself.”
I swear I saw smoke pouring from his ears. How dare a “woman” talk to him, the great (Joe-des) like that?
We then went downstairs to play pool. As I reached for a pool stick, he grabbed it from me and said, “No, women don’t play; their job is to cheer on their man from the sidelines.”
Are you kidding me? Honestly. What era was this? Certainly not the end of the 20th Century.
I walked upstairs and watched cartoons with his nieces and nephews until he was ready to leave.
Two hours later we walked out the door. His sister-in-law hugged me and said she hoped to see me again. Judas rudely retorted, “Don’t worry, you won’t.”
Fine by me I thought with a smile. Just get me home.
We didn’t speak a single word the entire drive back.
He descended the driveway and when the car came to a stop, he leaned in for a goodnight kiss. No joke.
But I was ready, hands on the handle ready to spring. Which is exactly what I did, shouting “See ya!” as I ran to the house for refuge.
As I shut the door, I heard him peel out of the driveway. And that was the last time I saw Judas (Joe-des), whom I affectionately refer to now as Jud-ASS!
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