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      “When Freud’s ideas were first introduced, they seemed obscure and arcane, and they never became reader—or patient—friendly. In Wisdom from the Couch, Jennifer Kunst builds a much-needed bridge by enabling the sophisticated field of psychoanalytic theory and practice to make common sense without compromising its complexity. One of the many virtues of Dr. Kunst’s presentation is the way in which she uses the work of Melanie Klein and makes it accessible to a wide audience. Her chapter on ‘proper dependence,’ ‘ripening to obedience,’ and ‘inspired independence’ (Chapter Ten) alone is worth the price of this book. She has written a superb work, one that is as masterful as it is timely. She artfully presents a number of theoretical ideas, some complex and others simpler, all with such seamless clarity that the work speaks meaningfully to seasoned psychoanalysts, beginning mental health workers, high school and college students, parents, and others.”

       —James S. Grotstein, MD, Professor of Psychiatry, UCLA School of Medicine, Training and Supervising Analyst at the Los Angeles Psychoanalytic Institute and the Psychoanalytic Center of California; Author of . . . BUT AT THE SAME TIME AND ON ANOTHER LEVEL . . . : PSYCHOANALYTIC THEORY AND TECHNIQUE IN THE KLEINIAN/BIONIAN MODE

      “Dr. Kunst has written a remarkably readable book about what is often a difficult quest for the meaningful life. Her ability to take the complex psychoanalytic theories of Melanie Klein and synthesize them with her spiritual beliefs in a way that is easy to follow is a refreshing and welcome addition to the integration of psychology and spirituality. Despite all our complicated theories and scientific efforts to identify the secrets of a life well lived, I agree with her that it all essentially comes down to one thing: love. Those who read this book will be more equipped to be better lovers of others, themselves, and God.”

       —Mark W. Baker, PhD, Executive Director of La Vie Counseling Centers; Author of JESUS, THE GREATEST THERAPIST WHO EVER LIVED

      “In this marvelous book, Jennifer Kunst gives us a highly readable primer on the fascinating therapeutic approach of Melanie Klein, making her case with references to the likes of Shaq O’Neal, The Velveteen Rabbit, and St. Benedict. But even more, her ‘wisdom from the couch’ is offered in terms of a candid and inspiring account of her own spiritual journey.”

       —Richard J. Mouw, PhD, President Emeritus and Professor of Faith and Public Life, Fuller Theological Seminary; Author of UNCOMMON DECENCY: CHRISTIAN CIVILITY IN AN UNCIVIL WORLD

      “One of the most urgent needs for psychoanalysts, for psychotherapists, indeed for the wider world, is to reach down into the depths to discover what is sanity and to differentiate it from madness. Jennifer Kunst clearly knows this, and in this work is doing two jobs: She (1) dismisses defining madness according to a surface symptomology, and (2) opens a gateway to a new way of thinking about this urgent problem. All those who have been scratching their heads and wondering how to find their way to a more sane and meaningful life will—if they are open to Jennifer’s guidance—begin to find an answer. This book beckons us to open its pages and read with care and attention.”

       —Neville Symington, Training and Supervising Analyst, Australian Psychoanalytical Society; Author of THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE PERSON and BECOMING A PERSON THROUGH PSYCHOANALYSIS

      

      Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction treatment, recovery, and behavioral healthcare topics, including original and quality books, audio/visual communications, and web-based new media. Through a diverse selection of titles, we seek to contribute a broad range of unique resources for professionals, recovering individuals and their families, and the general public.

      For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.

      © 2014 by Jennifer Kunst

      All rights reserved. Published 2014.

      No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

      Publisher: Central Recovery Press

       3321 N. Buffalo Drive

       Las Vegas, NV 89129

      19 18 17 16 15 14 1 2 3 4 5

      ISBN: 978-1-937612-62-7 (e-book)

      Author photo by Diedre Engle. Used with permission.

      Quotations from Bhante Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English (Somerville, MA: Wisdom Publications, 2011), reprinted with permission from the publisher, www.wisdompubs.org.

      Quotations from Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, Inc., 2011), reprinted with permission from the publisher, www.hayhouse.com.

      Quotations from Ruth Harms Calkin, Tell Me Again, Lord, I Forget (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House, 1986), reprinted with permission.

      Quotations from Letters to a Young Poet by Rainier Maria Rilke, translated by M.D. Herter Norton. Copyright 1934, 1954 by W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., renewed © 1962, 1982 by M. D. Herter Norton. Used by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.

      Publisher’s Note: This book contains general information about psychoanalytic theory and practice, as well as personal growth and development. Central Recovery Press makes no representations or warranties in relation to the information herein; it is not an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.

      Our books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To protect their privacy, some of the names of people, places, and institutions have been changed.

      Cover design and interior design and layout by Marisa Jackson.

       In memory of my mother, from whom all blessings flow. In Helen Keller’s words, “All the best of me belongs to her. There is not a talent or an aspiration or a joy in me that has not been awakened by her loving touch.”

      TABLE OF

      CONTENTS

FOREWORD

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE

       WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT WHAT YOU GET

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