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      See, this is not a leadership book at all! It is a time-tested, proven course illuminating the golden thread connecting every person to a life of excellence and purpose.

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      1 Leaders Care but Never Compromise

      2 Leaders Know the Value of Good People

      3 Leaders Inspire Rather than Motivate

      4 Leaders Provide Support

      5 Leaders Set Specific Expectations

      6 Leaders Create Leaders, Not Followers

      7 Leaders Provide Honest Feedback

      8 Leaders Breed Trust

      9 Leaders Foster Commitment

      10 Leaders Stimulate Loyalty

      11 Leaders Encourage Self-Acceptance and Acceptance of Others

      12 Final Thoughts

      Introduction

      Okay, I admit it. When I retired as president and CEO of The Berry Company, writing a book wasn’t at the top of my list of priorities. But whenever I spoke to groups about leadership and organizational efficiency, the feedback I received, overwhelmingly, was people wanted a book that captured the experiences and insights I had just shared with them.

      Most business and personal improvement books seem to fall into one of two categories. The first group is based on well-documented, exhaustive research that morphs into complex solutions and theories. The second group relies on a stimulating call to action, that is, the “rah” in rah-rah.

      Unfortunately, too few focus in on the most difficult challenge for us all, as individuals and organizations—How do we value our lives? My vision with this book is to inform and excite. My belief is that, beneath the spreadsheets, strategies and psychological tests, the truths really are pretty straightforward. What I will share with you is a simple, but not over-simplified, understanding of the values shared by those who thrive in business as well as in life.

      Becoming a leader can be daunting; at the same time, it’s a hugely rewarding endeavor. Finding an opportunity to lead, as well as finding in yourself the courage and clarity to lead others, is central to our existence. Sometimes the situation can be thrust upon you, other times it is a position that takes decades of hard work and commitment to achieve. Coaches for youth sports teams, executive vice-presidents and CEOs, community board members, PTA and PTO volunteers, individuals running small businesses and those running divisions of massive corporations—there are leaders needed in every stripe of life.

      Look around you—leaders abound. Look in the mirror—that same right stuff is also inside of you.

      This book is about the ten truths leaders understand will lead to success, time and again. This book is also about a personal journey that taught me that our lives, ultimately, will be judged by our ability and willingness to make a difference in other people’s lives. As a business leader, corporate strategist, CEO, board chair, college professor, high school wrestling coach, high school and collegiate wrestling official, husband, father, lecturer, leader, and a friend, I recognized (finally at the age of thirty-seven!) a code of conduct must be a part of everything we say, do, and ask of ourselves and others.

      Many leaders remember that life-changing moment when, almost suddenly, it became crystal clear what must be done and committed to that end. It wasn’t until I was faced with that one epiphany in life, which requires each of us to rebalance life’s priorities and brings a new understanding to what we already know, that I recognized all we do must be the result of a set of mores: a required set of behaviors appropriate for the circumstance we are attempting to influence. By accepting that all of our actions must be measured by specific, well-defined behaviors, I was able to build a model that was both sustainable in terms of results and yet allowed people to retain their personal dignity as they pursued their life’s plan.

      At the Berry Company in 1994, we formally implemented “The Leadership Pledge,” an operating philosophy that was built on a set of behaviors. This established a foundation that focused our efforts on recruiting talented performers, providing them the tools to do their job, defining expectations, providing meaningful feedback and holding each member of the organization accountable for all of their actions.

      Achieving success, however you define it, is ultimately about knowing and executing those behaviors that are tied to what’s most important to you and your organization.

      Effective leaders understand the need for discipline and focus on THOSE BEHAVIORS that drive results, rather than focusing only on the results. Master THESE ACTIONS and you’ll achieve the results. Focus only on the results, and it’s very likely you’ll lose your way.

      That’s what happened to me.

      While so many of my examples are drawn from the business world, I assure you the tenets, obstacles, and truths detailed on these pages apply to every facet of life. Many times, it’s easier to make a point about something learned at work since that part of our lives is so clearly black and white. But these principles carry value in every situation, from being a parent to being a coach to being a friend. It’s not surprising that the data backing up these findings emerged from the business sector because companies are great at keeping score, adding things up and measuring results. As executive director of the University of Dayton’s Center for Leadership and Executive Development (one of the many wonderful experiences I’ve enjoyed since retirement), I’ve had the privilege of working with some of the world’s most famous thought leaders on issues including leadership, change, strategy, and growth. What I’ve heard from the likes of Bob Quinn, Curt Coffman, Robert Cooper, Daniel Kim, Charles Dwyer, James Lucas, John Maxwell, Jim Kouzes, Ram Charan, Jeffery Pfeffer, Jim Loehr, and numerous others have inspired me to share this model with you. Rare is the person who can understand the theories and principles and still excite the practitioners, “the soldiers in the field,” who make success happen. This book does precisely that by addressing all aspects of our lives. I’m extremely proud to share with you that in every case, the data backs up what my intuition was telling me all along. These truths are simple. Acknowledging and abiding by them takes some work. Trust yourself.

      CHAPTER ONE

      Leaders Care but Never Compromise

      When any organization is operating at its best, it’s not because of technological superiority, competitive strategies, or product differentiation. Certainly those factors are important, but an organization achieves maximum efficiency through people, relationships, and love—love for ourselves, love for each other, and love for what we do every day.

      “Love” is not a word lightly tossed around corporate America. In fact, I would suggest it’s the most underutilized and most misunderstood word in business.

      As you’ll soon see, when I brought love into my business vocabulary, it had a dramatic impact on my life. We will use this word many times throughout the book, so let’s examine a few of love’s distinctions.

      The first is defining love in a business context. Love of the self at the professional level is simply about faith in who we are and confidence as we approach our life each and every day. Next, love for others is about trust and mutual respect for one another. Love at the professional level is a love for what we do every day and is simply about our passion.

      The second distinction is that it’s not an unconditional love without responsibility. It must be conditional love with consequences attached—this is called tough love. It’s a paradox. This is an enormous challenge for everyone involved. Unconditional love is at the core of our marriage vows. It’s also the bond between parent and child.

      This same tacit agreement requires honest feedback. Without honest feedback, there are serious limitations on our ability as leaders, coaches, parents, and friends. For without this level of truth, we don’t

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