LITMIR.BIZ

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had a temper, and hospitality or no, the boy might challenge him over Sydel.

      To all of this I professed ignorance. I was newly come to Lord Golden’s service, and to the court at Buckkeep. I knew little of my master’s ways or temperament yet. I was as curious as they were as to what would befall them all. The excitement that Golden had stirred was such that I could not steer the conversation to Dutiful or Old Blood or any useful topic. I lingered only long enough to purloin a large chunk of meat. Then I pleaded my duties and departed the kitchen for my room, frustrated of knowledge and deeply concerned for Lord Golden’s welfare. As soon as I was back in our rooms, I changed back into my humbler blue clothing. The green jerkin had rather suffered from concealing the meat. Then I sat down to await my master’s return. Anxiety roiled through me. If he carried this role too far, he might indeed find himself facing young Civil’s blade. I doubted that Lord Golden was any better with a sword than the Fool had been. It would, of course, be scandalous if it came to bloodshed, but young men in Civil’s position were not inclined to worry about such niceties.

      The depths of the night had passed and we were venturing towards the shallows of dawn when there was a tap at the door. A dour-faced maid informed me that my master required my assistance. Heart in mouth, I followed her, to discover Lord Golden senseless with drink on a bench in a parlour. He sprawled there like a cast-off garment. If other folk had witnessed his collapse, they had left. Even the maid gave a small toss of her head as she abandoned me to tend to him. As soon as she left, I half-expected him to rouse and tip me a wink that this was all a sham. He did not.

      I hauled him to his feet but even that did not stir him. I could either drag him or carry him. I resorted to the undignified expediency of slinging him over my shoulder and toting him back to his chamber like a sack of grain. I dumped him unceremoniously onto the bed, and fastened the door behind us. Then I dragged off his boots and shook him out of his jacket. As he fell back onto the bed, he said, ‘Well, I did it. I’m certain of it. I’ll apologize tomorrow, most abjectly, to Lady Bresinga. Then we’ll leave immediately. And all will be relieved to see us go. No one will follow us, no one will suspect we track the Prince.’ His voice wavered towards the end of this speech. He still had not opened his eyes. Then, in a strained voice he added, ‘I think I’m going to vomit.’

      I brought him the washbasin and set it on the bed next to him. He crooked an arm around it as if it were a doll. ‘What, exactly, did you do?’ I demanded.

      ‘Oh, Eda, make it all stand still.’ He clenched his eyes tightly and spoke. ‘I kissed him. I knew that would do it.’

      ‘You kissed Sydel? Civil’s intended?’

      ‘No,’ he groaned, and I knew a short-lived moment of relief. ‘I kissed Civil.’

      ‘What?’

      ‘I had gone to piss. When I came back, he was waiting for me outside the parlour where the others were gaming. He grabbed my arm and all but dragged me into a sitting room where he confronted me. What were my intentions towards Sydel? Did not I grasp that they had an understanding?’

      ‘What did you say?’

      ‘I said–’ He paused abruptly and his eyes grew round. He leaned towards the basin, but after a moment he only burped gassily and lay back. He groaned, then continued: ‘I said I understood their understanding, and hoped that perhaps we could come to an understanding of our own. I clasped his hand in mine. I said I saw no difficulty. That Sydel was a lovely girl, as lovely a girl as he was a boy, and that I hoped we might all become close and loving friends.’

      ‘And then you kissed him?’ I was incredulous.

      Lord Golden screwed his eyes shut. ‘He seemed a bit naïve. I wanted to be sure he took the fullness of my meaning.’

      ‘Eda and El in a tangle,’ I swore. I stood up and he groaned as the bed moved beneath him. I walked to the window and stared out. ‘How could you?’ I demanded of him.

      He took a breath and strained mockery crept into his voice. ‘Oh, please, beloved. You needn’t be jealous. It was the most brief and chaste kiss you can imagine.’

      ‘Oh, Fool,’ I rebuked him. How could he make a jest of something like this?

      ‘It wasn’t even on the mouth. Just a warm press of my lips to the palm of his hand, a single flick of my tongue.’ He smiled feebly. ‘He snatched it away as if I had branded him.’ Suddenly he hiccuped loudly and then made a sour face. ‘You’re dismissed. To your room, Badgerlock. I’ve no more need of you tonight.’

      ‘Are you certain?’

      He nodded, a short vehement nod. ‘Go away,’ he said plainly. ‘If I’m going to puke, I don’t want you watching me.’

      I understood his need to preserve that much dignity. He had little enough left. I retreated to my room and shut the door. I busied myself with packing my things. A short time later, when I heard the sounds of his misery, I did not go to him. Some things a man should do alone.

      I did not sleep well. I longed to touch minds with my wolf, but dared not allow myself that comfort. Necessary they might be, yet I still felt dirtied by the Fool’s political manipulations. I longed to live the direct and clean life of a wolf. Towards dawn, I came out of a doze to the sound of the Fool moving about in his chamber. I found him sitting at the small table looking haggard. Somehow the fresh clothing he had donned only made him look the more rumpled. Even his hair looked sweaty and dishevelled. He had a little box in front of him and a mirror. As I watched, puzzled, he dipped his finger in something and wiped it under his eye. The shadow there deepened to a pouch. Then he sighed. ‘I hate what I did last night.’

      I did not need him to explain. I tried to ease his conscience. ‘Perhaps it was a kindness. Perhaps it is better they discovered, before they wed, that Sydel’s heart is not as constant as Civil believed.’

      He shook his head, refusing the comfort. ‘If I had not led, she would not have followed in that dance. Her first sallies were but a girl’s coquetry. I think it as instinctive for a girl to flirt as it is for boys to show off their muscles and daring. Girls of her age are like little kittens pouncing at grass to practise their hunting skills. They do not yet know the meaning of the motions they make.’ He sighed, and went back to his little box of coloured powders.

      Silently I watched as he not only made himself look more ill, but added a decade to his years by delineating the lines in his face.

      ‘Do you think that’s necessary?’ I asked him as he snapped the little box shut and handed it to me. I tucked it back into his case, which was, I noted, already neatly packed for our journey.

      ‘I do. I wish to be sure that the glamour I put over Sydel is completely broken before I depart. Let her see me as substantially older than she is, and dissolute. She will wonder what she was thinking, and flee back to Civil. I hope he will have her. It would be better than her pining after me.’ He gave a melodramatic sigh, but I knew his ridicule was for himself. This morning, Lord Golden’s façade was fractured and the Fool shone forth from the cracks.

      ‘A glamour?’ I asked sceptically.

      ‘Of course. No one is invulnerable to me if I choose to enchant them. No one but you, that is.’ He rolled his eyes at me dolorously. ‘But there is no time for me to mourn that. Now you must go forth and make it known that I wish a private moment with Lady Bresinga. Then go and tap at Laurel’s door and let her know that we ride soon.’

      By the time I returned from the second half of my errand, Lord Golden had departed the room to his meeting with Lady Bresinga. It was a very brief meeting, and when he returned, he indicated that I should take our bags down immediately. He did not stop to eat anything, but I had already purloined all the fruit that had been in our room. We would survive, and he was probably wiser to avoid food for a time yet.

      Our horses were brought round. Lady Bresinga descended to wish us a chill farewell. Not even the servants deigned to notice our departure. Lord Golden offered yet another apology, attributing much of his behaviour to the fine quality of her wines. If this flattery was meant to appease

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