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       6 The Skills of Fuzzy Logic

      Three of your biggest time-wasters and problem-creators in the culture of office work are:

      1 Pointless and ineffectual moaning and whingeing.

      2 Constant criticism for mistakes made.

      3 Looking around to cast the blame when something goes wrong.

      Banish these from your shagpile – they are counter-productive and outdated working methods.

       Moaning

      Is the following an accurate description of you? You are a compulsive serial victim with an extremely unpleasant passive/aggressive sado-masochistic streak. To put it another way, you are hooked on the pity of others but lack the guts to tackle the problems you’re moaning about.

      You are invariably boring and depressing, using your own personal Tannoy of a mouth to tell everyone within a ten-mile radius how bad your lot is; everyone, that is, but the one person it might be useful to tell – the one who’s caused your problem in the first place.

      Long-suffering colleagues waste lungfuls of air offering advice and making suggestions about positive action to you, but then they haven’t got the hang of the ‘role’ you’re demanding they play, have they? The role of a Greek chorus, wailing along in sympathy – an ear without a voice.

      Did you not notice how their eyes glazed over when you approached their desks for the first good moan of the day? Did you ever wonder whether perhaps you weren’t enjoying your long-term martyrdom? But then you feel guilty for thinking like that.

      The trouble is, whingeing makes you feel better, doesn’t it? But it’s only short term. Wouldn’t it be healthier to crave respect and admiration in the workplace, rather than pity?

      When you – the Moaner – do finally decide to act do you go off like a geyser? Instead of tackling a problem while it’s relatively bite-size, do you wait until it’s choking you, until out bursts all the bile, anger and resentment that’s been brewing up for months, or even years?

      ‘I never said anything about this before, but …’ is the introductory catchphrase to your annual verbal Vesuvius – and then you wonder why your colleagues all turn and run for the exits.

       Don’t Moan – Act

      Moaning is bad for your self-esteem.

       It lacks any sense of loyalty.

      It bores people rigid – if your only way of being entertaining is via moaning you are a very sad type of person indeed. Moaning makes you an object of pity.

       It uses up energy and time for no discernible purpose. Moans often get related back through a third party. Complaining by proxy is never a good career move.

       The Culture of the Negative

      You may be a boss who relishes pointing out other people’s mistakes. Maybe you think it’s what you’re there for – to make sure your staff turn out immaculate work as a result of your own gimlet-eyed surveillance?

      Did it ever occur to you that you could be the cause of many of those mistakes your staff are making by your own flawed behaviour, though?

      The trouble is, our brain has difficulty processing the word – Don’t. It only receives the command. Try this little experiment.

      Sit eating lunch or having a quiet coffee with a colleague whose back is facing the office door. Look up and then say to them in confidential tones: ‘Don’t look round now, but …’ You won’t even get any further because their head will be spinning on an axis like the priest’s in The Exorcist. They’ll look round so fast they won’t even catch your last words. All their brain received was the suggestion, not the negative. If you told them to keep looking at you they would have found it easier to obey because the command was positive.

      This is why constant criticism can be the antithesis to productive, accurate work. Tell a colleague to be sure not to make a mistake on some work you’ve given them and their brain will only hear the suggestion to make a mistake. If you constantly point out mistakes you only tell staff what they’re doing wrong, not what to do that is right.

       People who only get told what they’ve done wrong form an edgy and insecure workforce. Staff who get praised when they get things right will blossom because they know when they’re on the right track.

      It’s not just directors and managers who need to remember this. You will happily have a moan at colleagues now and again – but when did you last remember to thank or praise them? Remember, you’re looking at objectives here. Yelling at someone when they screw up may make you feel good in the short-term but it’s not guaranteed to ensure they do better next time – in fact, often the opposite. Genuine praise and thanks are incentives towards improved behaviour.

       Thanks a Million

      Watch out for insincere-sounding praise, though. Some bosses thank their team too profusely for doing well – when the team know their work was only average. This type of phoneyness will only lose you respect, rather than gain it.

       Casting the Nets

      The British love apportioning blame. When any misfortune is announced on the news, hours are spent casting blame around in a series of denials and counter-denials that lead to all sides getting so entrenched in self-righteous refutation that nobody remembers to pick up the tab for the problem – making the victim’s suffering worse.

      Similar shenanigans will go on in business. As soon as there’s a blunder of any size the cry will go up: ‘Who’s fault was that?’

      Again, the message here should be to prioritize your objectives.

       Blaming others is like throwing a hot brick about that nobody will want to catch. Accusations lead to denials and arguments. Arguments rarely reach a peaceful solution.

      Imagine you lived beneath a dam. One day you notice the dam is leaking. Where is your immediate action best employed:

      1 Plugging the hole?

      2 Going round screaming ‘Who did that?’ until you all drown?

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