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The Happiness Recipe. Stella Newman
Читать онлайн.Название The Happiness Recipe
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9780007478446
Автор произведения Stella Newman
Жанр Зарубежный юмор
Издательство HarperCollins
STELLA NEWMAN
THE HAPPINESS RECIPE
Copyright
Published by AVON
A Division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published as ‘Leftovers’ in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2013
This ebook edition published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2018
Copyright © Stella Newman 2013
Cover design © Becky Glibbery
Cover illustration © Shutterstock
Stella Newman asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9781847562715
Ebook Edition © April 2013 ISBN: 9780007478446
Version: 2018-06-25
To George Hanna, with thanks.
‘We’ve arrived at the top of the staircase, finally ready to start our lives, only to discover a cavernous room at the tail end of a party, most of the men gone already, some having never shown up – and those who remain are leering by the cheese table, or are, you know, the ones you don’t want to go out with.’
Kate Bolick, ‘All The Single Ladies’, The Atlantic magazine
Contents
w/c 16 April – three weeks to airdate
w/c 30 April – one week to airdate
Read on for an extract from Pear Shaped
I am a Leftover.
Well, according to this ridiculous quiz in Style and Food Magazine I’m a Leftover:
Bridget Jones is so mid-90s! Today’s 30-somethings manage hedge funds, plan mini-music festivals and bake macrobiotic Red Velvet cupcakes, all without breaking a sweat! Answer these four questions to discover which tribe you belong to:
1) Work – Do you:
a) Run your own multi-million pound start-up, mentor young entrepreneurs in your lunch break and still find time for power pilates and a blow-dry before end of play.
b) Have a trust fund – you don’t need more cash; even so, you’ll be launching your first shoe collection in Harvey Nicks this spring.
c) Plod along on a treadmill non-career doing long hours for average pay while younger, more thrusting colleagues are promoted all around you.
2) Love and Sex – Are you:
a) Blissfully married to a man you still find ferociously attractive (the sex just gets better every year!) and tiger-mothering four kids under 10 who perform Mozart quartets together.
b) Heavily loved-up with your DJ boyfriend, and having loads of rampant, gymnastic sex, sometimes in public but mostly in Mr & Mrs Smith hotels.
c) Still recovering from your last failed relationship, living a non-voluntary celibate existence because your sad, jaded aura can be spotted from space.
3) Your weekends are spent:
a) Flicking through the FT’s ‘How to Spend It’ with one hand, buying Lanvin on Net-A-Porter with the other, only pausing to bake gluten-free alfalfa flatbreads.
b) Glamping, and on mini-breaks in Copenhagen/Babington House, religiously avoiding wheat and dairy.
c) Planning what you’re going to do if you ever stop feeling so goddamn lonely, while eating and drinking too much of everything.
4) Your role models are:
a) Nicola Horlick, Karren Brady.
b) Kate Moss, Florence from Florence + the Machine.
c) You have no role models. You have given up all hope. All that’s left is anger.
Mostly As – You’re an Alpha Alfalfa!