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       Copyright

      Thorsons

      An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd. 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

       www.harpercollins.co.uk

      First published in Australia by Bay Books 1984

      Revised edition 1988 Angus & Robertson edition 1995 Published by Thorsons 1998

      © Steve and Shaaron Biddulph 1984, 1988, 1993, 1998

      Steve and Shaaron Biddulph assert the moral right to be identified as the authors of this work

      Illustrations by Allan Stomann

      A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks

      HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication

      Source ISBN: 9780722536698

      Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780007388318 Version: 2016-09-08

      The secret of

      happy

      children

      Steve Biddulph

       Dedication

       Thanks to all in the Transactional Analysis community from the early seventies onwards, especially Colin McKenzie, Pat McKenzie, the Maslens, the Mellors, and Jean Grigor. These people both saved my life, and set me on this wonderful road. To my parents for a good start. To my partner Shaaron Biddulph for all that she has taught and given me. To Doro, June and everyone at Parent Network for bringing my work to England. To everyone at Thorsons UK. And to all of us parents everywhere, for struggling on and still remembering how to laugh.

      Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       3 Curing by Listening How to help your child deal with an unkind world

       4 Kids and Emotions What is really going on?

       5 The Assertive Parent Firmness. Do it – now.

       6 Family shape Dad? Who’s Dad?

       7 Ages and Stages Do you mean this is normal?

       8 Energy and How to Save It Good news – your children need you healthy and happy.

       9 Special Situations How you can help if you’re a teacher, a politician, a grandparent, neighbour or friend.

       Postscript

       Keep Reading

       Appendix

       The Story Behind this Book

       About the Author

       About the Publisher

       Foreword

      Why are so many adults unhappy?

      Think of all the people who have problems – who lack confidence, cannot make a decision, worry about little details, can’t relax, or can’t make friends with other people. Think of those who are aggressive, putting people down and ignoring the needs of those around them. Add to the above all those just holding on until the next drink or the next tranquilliser.

      In one of the richest, most peaceful countries in the world, unhappiness is epidemic. One adult in every five will at some time need psychiatric care, one marriage in three ends in divorce, one adult in four needs medication to relax. It’s a great life!

      Unemployment and difficult economic circumstances don’t help, but unhappiness is present in all income groups – rich, poor and in-between. It’s a problem, in fact, that no amount of money seems to solve.

      On the other hand, we are often puzzled by some people’s constant cheerfulness and optimism. Why is it that, in some individuals, the human spirit blossoms in spite of apparent hardship?

      The fact of the matter is that many people have unhappiness programmed into them. They have been unwittingly taught to be unhappy and are simply living out the script. When reading this book you may realise that, by accident, you are hypnotising your children into disliking themselves, and causing them to have problems which may last a lifetime.

      How this happens and how to change it – in fact, how to create happy children – is what this book is all about.

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