PING-PONG - Valeriy Khazin

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The head coach, nicknamed Tops, 23 years old.

      The second coach, nicknamed Cap, 40 years old.

      Nurse, later nicknamed Splinter, 19 years old.

The team

      Boys:

      The top player of the team, nicknamed Cadeau, 17 years old.

      The second player of the team, nicknamed Spin, 16 years old.

      The third player of the team, nicknamedChang, 14 years old.

      The reserve player of the team, nicknamed Fisher, 14 years old.

      Girls:

      The top player of the team, nicknamed Sharon, 16 years old.

      The second player of the team, nicknamed Chancy, 16 years old.

      The third player of the team, nicknamedLoo, 14 years old.

      The reserve player of the team, nicknamed Bunny, 14 years old.

      Players of the junior team, boys and girls, aged 11–13.

      Scene 1

      The action takes place in a sport camp on the shore of a large forest lake in August.

      August, 1

      Evening. Chancy and Bunny’s room. A tape recorder is playing. Bunny, dressed in a tracksuit, is lying in bed on the blanket dangling her legs. Her open bag is on the floor, the bundle of her clothes and a box of ping-pong balls sticking out. Chancy has just finished tidying her closet. She closes the door, comes to her bed, sits down. She looks at Bunny and gives her a smile.

      Chancy. So… we're going to call you Bunny?

      Bunny. Yeah. Everyone calls me that. At school and in the old team too. I never mind. Do you?

      Chancy. Why?

      Bunny. … being nicknamed?… I mean, can I call you… Chancy? Like the others?

      Chancy. Sure. Nobody gets offended here. Everyone has a nickname.

      Bunny. It’s so strange… And why Chancy?

      Chancy. (laughing) It’s an old story. Because of my sliced shots. Cap didn’t like them and used to say that, instead of a proper defence, I kept on making chancy moves. So they called me Chancy.

      Bunny. I see… And Cap is that old and tall one?

      Chancy. He’s not old. Just grey.

      Bunny. Was it him who trained you?

      Chancy. Yes. Me and the whole team. He was the head coach for five years.

      Bunny. Ah… And what about Tops? I thought he…

      Chancy. He’s been appointed recently. About three months.

      Bunny. Ah…So what’s he like?

      Chancy. He’s all right.

      Bunny. Aha. Look, what should I call them?

      Chancy. Who?

      Bunny. The coaches.

      Chancy. Like everyone does. Cap… and Tops.

      Bunny. Really? And you all call them that? To their faces? What about names?

      Chancy. (smiling) It’s a custom. Everyone in the team has a nickname. It’s like a talisman, you see? You shouldn’t get offended. We leave names for events. And for the records.

      Bunny. It’s so strange… (sits down on the bed) Have you been here before?

      Chancy. Several times.

      Bunny. I’m so glad they’ve picked me. It’s a gorgeous place… The lake… You know, I didn’t believe they’d pick me – until the last minute… The weight and stuff, you know… Neither did Mo… And this, er…Tops – does he make you sweat at the workouts?

      Chancy. That’s his job.

      Bunny. (whispering) You know, I always wear mini and shorts on purpose, but, actually I feel dreadfully shy, you know… What about you?

      Chancy. I don’t know. It depends…th.

      Pause.

      Bunny. Have you ever tried smoking?

      Chancy. What?

      Bunny. Well, they say you can lose weight if..

      Chancy. Nonsense! Yout know very well that’s rubbish, don’t you? (pause) After all, you don’t have to be skinny because this isn’t… gymnastics… Look at me…

      Bunny. Yes, of course.

      Pause.

      Bunny. (lies down again) Isn’t it wonderful they've put us together?

      Chancy. It’s great. Aren’t you going to unpack?

      Bunny. Unpack? Ah yes… Sure… Later… Tomorrow.

      Pause.

      Bunny. Listen. I was just wondering… about that guy – Cadeau – he’s number one, right?

      Chancy. Yes.

      Bunny. Have you ever played doubles with him?

      Chancy. Couple of times during competitions. And, of course, at the workouts. Sharon usually plays with him.

      Bunny. Sharon? But that isn’t her name, is it?

      Chancy. Yes, it is. I mean, that’s what she’s called here. It’s not really a name. She just looks very much like…

      Bunny. Sharon Stone? Yes, I’ve noticed…

      Pause.

      Bunny. And Cadeau?

      Chancy. What?

      Bunny. How come he’s called that?

      Chancy. His surname is Cadoryan. His father’s Armenian. He left them… or something – a long time ago. Besides, “cadeau” is the French for present, you know?… And some of his freaky left serves are pretty tough. He calls them “my precious presents”. And, when he's serving he often mutters: “here we go now – un petit cadeau”…

      Bunny. Got you… He’s handsome… Everyone must be crazy about him here…

      Chancy. Not everyone. (pause) Well, it’s late… Bedtime…

      Scene 2

      The same evening. Cap’ and Tops’s room in a cottage. Cap and Tops sitting at a table with a half empty bottle of cognac, two wine-glasses and fruit on it. Tops puts a knife and an apple in the saucer, stands up. He goes to the chair in the corner, sits down, starts peeling the apple.

      Cap. Would you like some more?

      Tops. No, thanks. It’s good stuff.

      Pause.

      Cap. Well, I think, I’ll have some, if you don’t mind… I feel tired (pours cognac in the glass).

      Tops. Go ahead, sure. (puts the apple slice in his mouth) Has everyone settled in?

      Cap. Oh yes. eEverything’s fine.

      Tops. It must have been a mess – handling the kids, eh? I mean, there’re

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